Cambiare – Bindingdiva: Post 5

Content Rating:
  • NC-17
  • Character Bashing
  • Death-Major Character
  • Discussion-Child Abuse
  • Explicit Sex
  • Violence-Canon-Level
  • Alternate Universe
  • Ménage or More
  • Paranormal
Tony DiNozzo/Blair Sandburg/Jim Ellison, Tony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs (Past)

Word Count:

Author's Note:
Didn't finish during the challenge period, but I'm happier this challenge. I'll continue posting here till 5th and the on my WordPress and maybe Wild Hare.

Tony is used to change; his life has been filled with it. But he’s 27 years old, long past needing adult advice and supervision. He certainly shouldn’t have to call his favourite Uncle from a Navy carrier in the Pacific Ocean. But lately his life has resembled an episode of the Twilight Zone, and something tells him that Uncle Jack investigated far more interesting things than Deep Space Radar before he retired to his lake in Minnesota. He trusts Major General Jack O’Neill Rtd to give it to him straight. “Uncle Jack, I’m in trouble… can you… Help me… Please?”

The next few days were a whirlwind of doctor’s visits, shopping for the kids, meetings with prospective foster parents and visits to lawyers offices, as despite seeming happy that Layla-Rose and Elias were leaving the Orphanage, there had been some challenges to getting their paperwork in order.


Tony had found it all a double-edged sword. He found he loved being around the kids. Their innate trust in him was humbling and it fed something in his soul to have such uncomplicated affection come to him so easily.


However, his attraction to Jim and Blair was becoming more difficult to handle, as was the link between them along the Bond. Tony felt on edge all the time, wondering when the hammer would fall, and his interference in their connection would become too much for them to handle. He was well aware that the sanctity of the Sentinel/Guide Bond was held in great regard by everyone, both Mundane and Gifted. Romantics gushed over the instantaneous connection each person felt for the ‘other half of their soul’, and the intellectuals endlessly studied the way the Guide’s interweaving of Psionic energy made the Sentinel’s gifts stronger and more robust. Add in the fact that S/G pairs, on the whole, worked in public service, and the general public held them in almost religious awe.


Tony knew that he would receive nothing but disapprobation if he was found to be affecting Jim and Blair’s Bond, and he had spent many long nights trying to work out a way to survive without needing their help in that way.


Tony had been pushing the limits of his physical ability to try to find a way to combat the pain that accompanied his mind reading. Every day for an hour or two, Blair had dropped the shields until Tony was able to correctly interpret Layla’s mind-pictures. Tony had tried meditating, not looking directly at the little girl, asking her to send just one picture at a time, but nothing seemed to work. The most he could last was 20 minutes and even that short period of time left him with a brain-crushing migraine that had him in a darkened room for several hours.


Eventually, it was Jim who had put his foot down.


“It’s not working, Tony. You can’t keep pushing yourself like this. We have no idea what this is doing to your brain. You could burn out.”


It was something Tony had considered too, but the pressure to find another way had made him uncaring of his own wellbeing. Jim obviously didn’t agree.


So instead, Blair dropped his shields for fifteen minutes every couple of hours, and in that way, Tony was able to fill in the gaps of Layla and Elias’ life, and also build a relationship with the strong little girl that he knew would be life-long, no matter where they both ended up.


In the meantime, Blair and Jim seemed quite happy to be in the cabin and made no noises about needing to get back to work. Tony couldn’t even imagine ever getting to a point where he could make his living amongst other people, and that too brought up its own problems, including money.


While his trust and his mother’s inheritance was substantial, it was nowhere near enough to simultaneously buy him some land far away from civilization – Alaska was his latest possibility – and build him a house, and then keep him fed and clothed for the rest of his life. He needed to find a way to make a living also.


When he had first arrived at the cabin, Daniel had suggested that he finish his dissertation because at least as Dr. DiNozzo he’d have some options; perhaps, the other academic had posited, he could write textbooks, drawing on past cases as reference. He’d laughed at the idea at the time, but now it was beginning to seem like the best chance he was going to have. Which of course meant he had to get back to his studies.


The day after tomorrow the kids were going to their new home. The couple, Bob and Sandra Hancock, were warm and friendly and exactly the kind of people Tony had imagined to be good foster parents.


Elias was a pushover – as a latent Sentinel, he had an instinct for people. Layla had her own issues, of course, having been abused and permanently physically disabled. However, they were gentle and patient with her, and Tony did his best to allay her fears. So eventually, although initially reticent, she had soon settled and was beginning to forge at least the bare bones of a relationship with them.


The Hancock’s had visited at the cabin at first, and then the last couple of days, Layla and Elias had spent most of their day at their home which was about thirty minutes away. As it was important that the children and especially Elias, began to get into a routine, they had all finally agreed that it was time.


At Layla’s request, the three men were going to spend all the next day with them, and they had already decided on a very busy day of activities and meals. Once he was in his room however, Tony had found himself feeling very low, both at the fact that the children wouldn’t be with them every day, and that probably that the foster placement would mark the end of Tony’s hiatus from the deleterious effects of his so-called gifts, as assessing the children had been the second and final reason for the S/G Alpha pair to be in Minnesota.


He knew he needed to move forward and school seemed to be the way to do it. He’d paid all his tuition in advance, and being ABD he could continue his studies without needing to visit CUNY John Jay, at least until his defence, even if he had to cite some top-secret mission to put off his tutors – he’d set precedent in the past when he was undercover, and no doubt Jack would be stoked to help with some high clearance op that didn’t exist!  As far as his defence was concerned, Tony thought he’d probably be able to use the same excuse to attend the meeting by Skype… maybe?


Not wanting to wait, he fired up his laptop and signed onto his email program, writing a slightly vague but carefully worded explanation to his professor, asking for his help to make his continued study a reality. He signed off and pressed send before he could change his mind.


For a moment he felt slightly breathless, a little panicked by the problems that he could face. It took a few minutes of careful breathing and a stern internal monologue to get his fears back under control.


He’d made a decision and he was going to stick to it. He’d talk it through with Daniel and Jack when they got back from the kids day out, and no doubt Blair would have some ideas too.


It was going to be OK.


He just wished he really believed that.



“Gibbs! I’ve got some good news, Bossman.”


“What ya got for me, Abbs?”


“Tony used his email account just this evening to contact a professor at CUNY John Jay. I’ve managed to track his IP address to a small town outside Minneapolis.”


“What the fuck is he doing in Minnesota? I thought he was supposed to be on TDY. There’s nothing but National Guard Bases and all McGee could find out about this O’Neill was that he was Air Force. I don’t like this…”


“I’m working on pinpointing his exact location, Bossman, but it’ll take me a little while. I can’t afford to get caught… not after the last time.”


“I told you to be careful. Hacking the White House is not a good idea, Abby-girl, even if you’re wearing your white hat at the time.”


“I know, poppa-bear. That’s why I gotta take things slow. But I really want our Tony back. I’m sure he’s missing us all. We need our family back together. What I can’t understand is why Timmy can’t find anything more out about that General.”


“All we’ve got is a name, Major General Jonathan ‘Jack’ O’Neill. The bastard has Ultra-Violet clearance, and I can’t even find out where he did his training, let alone what he’s working on now.”


“OOOh, hold on a minute. Tony used to talk about his Uncle Jack that he met when he was at RIMA. I’m sure I have a couple of emails where Tony talked about him, but it’d take me a while to check. This guy couldn’t be the same man, could he?”


“It’s a possibility, Abbs. You carry on searching for Tony’s whereabouts and I’ll get McGee on the trail of ‘Uncle Jack’. The present CO of RIMA owes me a favour or three, so maybe I’ll have better luck there. Good job, sweet-girl, keep in touch.”


“Will do. Bye, Bossman.”


Gibbs flipped his phone closed and smiled to himself. They were finally on the right track, he could feel it. It wouldn’t be long before he’d have a bead on Tony, and probably something he could use on the General too. If not, there were other forms of inquiry.  He went to pick up the sanding block he’d dropped when Abby called but then changed his mind. He didn’t know why, but his gut was telling him that there was link between Minnesota and the General. And he knew someone who could find out. It was only around 2300, and no doubt McGee was just wasting his time playing video games.


He flipped open his cell and stabbed at #2, Tony’s name on #1 seeming to mock him as he waited.


“Boss, please tell me we don’t have a case. We’re supposed to be on a four day weekend.”


“We don’t have a case…”


“Oh, thank God. Erm… well, if we don’t have a case then why are you calling me, Boss?”


“Because I have a lead on Tony, and I don’t want it going cold. Not that it matters why. If I want you working you’ll work, understand?”


“Understood, Boss…”


There was a deep sigh on the other end of the call and some muttering that Gibbs couldn’t really hear, but could guess the content. The Probie was getting a bit big for his boots, and Gibbs knew many, many ways to cut him down to size. But first, he needed to get him on the trail of O’Neill.


“General O’Neill…”


“Boss, I tried everything short of hacking Homeland – and even I’m not good enough or stupid enough to do that. The man is a ghost.”


“I want you to look at any Jonathon O’Neill’s who were born and or educated in Minnesota.”


“OK, Boss. What year?”


“To be a Major General, even if he’s been pushed up the ladder he’ll have to be between 45 and 65 years old.”


“Twenty years is a long time, Boss, especially with such a common name.”


“Well, you’d better get started then. Twenty-four hours, McGee and then I want some concrete information.”


Throwing his cell onto the workbench, Gibbs reached for his jar of bourbon. “Soon have you back where you belong, DiNozzo, and then I’ll make sure you don’t ever think of leaving.”



Their day out had been amazing and they had done everything they had planned. Unfortunately, that was far more than they should have done with two young kids in tow, and the ambulant among them were tripping with exhaustion. Elias had napped on and off all day, leaning warm and cosy against the chest of whoever was wearing his carrier, so he at least was rested. He was it seemed very hungry though and was making sure they were all aware by screaming the house down.


Blair had managed to get upright and into the kitchen before Tony could even move a muscle, and Elias obviously heard the bottle going into the microwave and the beeps of the timer, as he stopped wailing and turned his head towards the noise.


“He’ll be an early emergence,” Jim said quietly, looking down at the baby, who was still strapped to his broad chest, with some concern.


“Will it hurt him to come online so young?”


“Hopefully we’ve got at least a couple of years grace, although sometimes they come online slowly over several years. We don’t get many under 5’s but there are a few every year. There are protocols in place, but mainly we find them a conservator who acts as a temporary Guide for them until they find their own or grow up enough to manage their senses by themselves.”


“Kinda like me, then?” Tony murmured and tried desperately not to let the sadness he felt leak out to the other men. Neither of them seemed to realise how much of their emotional state was open to him along the Bond, and they didn’t show any obvious reaction to his own highs and lows, so it seemed it was hidden for now, but Tony knew it would happen eventually.


Before Jim could answer, Blair was walking back in with the bottle, and Elias was reaching for it, getting crotchety because his arms were bound up in the carrier.


As if they’d been doing it for years and not days, Blair and Jim released the baby from the straps and then Jim took Elias over to an armchair by the fire and began to feed him. The sight took Tony’s breath away. Seeing the huge Sentinel being so gentle and tender with the tiny child just ramped up his attraction even higher. Those pale blue eyes were gazing down at the little boy, who had fisted his tiny hand in Jim’s shirt as he looked right back. For some reason, it brought tears to Tony’s eyes, and he had to look away before he made a fool of himself.


He was just about to make an excuse to leave the room for a while when Layla ran up to Blair and pulled him over to the couch where Tony was slumped. Blair gave him a grin that lit up his beautiful face, and once again Tony thought that Botticelli would have loved Sandburg as a model.


“What do you need, Princess?” Blair asked Layla, who by the set of her chin was obviously pretty fixed on something.


Layla put her hand to her temple and made a twisting motion. Tony knew what she wanted immediately, but he wasn’t sure he could cope with being set adrift from the Bond for long.


“Sweetie, Tony is really tired,” Blair explained.


Tony gave him a look, unsure if he’d felt something from him, but it seemed that Blair was just extrapolating from his own exhaustion. His hair was mussed and Tony could see the tiredness around his eyes, although he seemed pretty happy about it. They’d had an amazing day, making memories for all of them, but that Tony, in particular, knew he’d keep close for the rest of his life.


The little girl gave Tony a considering look and then shook her head, once more making the unlocking motion against her temple.


“Can you cope for a couple of minutes? I won’t let her keep you working too long.”


Lifting the child onto his lap, Tony kissed the end of her nose and shook his head. “It’s fine. She’s already late for bed, so I think she’ll be too tired to stay up much longer.”


Nodding in agreement, Blair withdrew the Bond from Tony, taking it slowly, as they had learned that was the best way to stop Tony from being overloaded.


Tony didn’t even have a chance to ask Layla anything before there was a jumble of images coming from her in rush, which judging from her pale peach aura were based on anxious thoughts.


“Slow down, sweetie. Try to tell me one thing at a time, OK.”


Amazingly, for a six-year-old, Layla usually had a very orderly mind, and it only took her a moment to get her first point across. There was a picture of her and Elias and the Hancock’s going out through a door.


“Oh, are you worried about staying with Bob and Sandra?”


She shook her head, then nodded, and then shook it again.


“Well that was clear,” Blair laughed gently.


“I think she’s nervous about it, but is OK. That’s the impression I get from her aura, anyway.”


Blair nodded and smiled. “Good, it wouldn’t be impossible to change things at this late stage but it would be difficult.”


“We can do it if she’s really unsure,” Jim said from across the room.


Tony looked up to see Elias totally sacked out on Jim’s chest, his empty bottle clutched in his hands and his little mouth still making sucking motions. It was so cute that Tony couldn’t help but smile sappily. He didn’t get much of a reprieve though, as Layla was soon pulling on his hand. He turned back to her and was surprised to see the same image, but this time Tony, Blair, and Jim were all standing together watching the children leave. There were the equivalent of cartoon hearts moving from the two children towards the men, and Tony was shocked to see the biggest hearts were heading for him.


With the lovely blue of Layla’s aura, he got it immediately. “Oh, yes we love you too.”


There were tears in Blair’s eyes when Tony explained what he’d seen and he gave Layla a cuddle when she seemed a little worried by that.


The first little stabs of pain were appearing in Tony’s temples, but it seemed Layla had something more to say. She showed him a calendar, with the days crossed off. He didn’t know where she’d seen something like that, but she was a clever little thing and had probably salted it away from a book or movie.


“We won’t stop loving you, Layla-Rose, no matter how many days or months or years it is. While I am here, I’ll try to see you. Even if Blair and Jim go back to their home in Cascade, I can still ask Uncle Danny to bring me to see you, OK?”


There was a movement by his side, but he was too intent on Layla and her fears to want to take away his attention. “And maybe when you’re a bit older, you can go to stay with Blair and Jim for one of the holidays.”


He looked up to find the Sentinel and Guide gazing across at him with very strange looks on their faces, and he wondered it he’d overstepped a little. Perhaps it wasn’t a good idea for the kids to leave their foster parents, particularly if Elias was going to come online.


“Of course,” Blair said gently. “But Jim and I are going to be here in Minnesota for a while longer, and you’ll be seeing us nearly every week I would think. And once you are settled in your new rooms, and Bob and Sandra are happy, then maybe you can come and have a sleepover with us.”


Layla’s pretty little face lit with joy at the idea, and she leaned over and kissed Blair on the forehead, in exactly the way he’d kissed her every night since she’d joined them. Then she turned back to Tony and in the exact way she’d done during their first meeting, she spelled something out for him. At first, it was so fast he missed it, and he had to ask her to repeat it.


“OK, so LAYLA… Layla, then a heart and then TONY… erm, Tony, that’s me and then… what’s that, sweetie?”


He puzzled for a moment at what seemed to be two figures and a small white crescent with a constant stream of hearts floating between them. It took him a few moments to realise it was supposed to be the two of them and probably the Moon. He said it out loud and Layla nodded, smiling happily. But Tony wasn’t quite sure what she was trying to say and he looked to Blair, hoping the man could help. He was shocked to see the tears that Blair had held back earlier were now falling.


“What… Blair, what did I do?”


“Nothing, Tony. I think she’s trying to tell you something from the Tim Warne book we read this week.”


Tony shook his head, nothing was coming to mind and his head was starting to pound, both from his gifts and from trying to understand.


Blair took pity on him and pulled him back into the Bond, making him slump a little in relief as the pain receded.


“What she was trying to say was, ‘Layla loves Tony to the Moon and back.’” Blair explained gently.


His breath caught in his throat. Tony had never had anything so wonderful said to him and it was so overwhelming that it hurt. Layla seemed to understand as she knelt up on his knees and threw her arms around his neck.


“Me too, baby, oh, me too.” He murmured into her curly hair, committing to memory the smell of her shampoo and the feel of her little arms around him.


He kissed Layla gently on each cheek and then passed her over to Blair, before getting up off the couch and stumbling to his room. He could hear Blair explaining to Layla that Tony was fine, but that he probably had a little headache.  Tony knew she could understand that, as they had explained it to her when he’d first started to interpret the images she sent, so she probably wouldn’t worry too much.


It wasn’t until he had the door closed firmly behind him, that he let the tears begin to fall. Things were changing again, and he wasn’t sure how many more he was going to be able to survive.



The Hancock’s arrived as planned just after breakfast, and if Tony hugged the two children for longer than was necessary as their bags were placed into the trunk of their car, then no one mentioned it.


Elias was his usual laid-back self, looking around with bright eyes as Sandra placed him in the carrier that would become his car seat. Layla managed to hold it together right until the last minute but began to cry silently as they were about to take their leave. As they all walked towards the car, she had dropped her little backpack on the ground and begun rummaging through the contents.


Sandra touched Layla on the cheek to get her attention. “Did you forget something, Layla?” she said carefully, allowing the child to watch her lips.


The little girl shook her head as she finally pulled a book out of the bag. Tony knew what it was immediately, and he crouched down to help her put everything else back in the bag. Once all was tidy again, Layla held out the blue covered book, with its picture of Big Bear and Little Bear looking at the Moon and when Tony looked a little confused, she huffed and pushed it into his hands.


“Don’t you want to keep it to read with Bob and Sandra,” Tony asked. But he didn’t need his gift to realise that she wasn’t really giving it to him, rather that she wanted him to keep it for her – a talisman for the promise that they would read it together again. So, when she pushed it on him firmly again, he simply stood and held it tightly to his chest as he watched Blair and Jim strap the children firmly into their car seats and say their own goodbyes.


Before the SUV drove away, the Sentinel pair joined him on the cabin porch, and Tony thought that if not for that, he might have run off into the forest rather than have to watch the car wend slowly down the rocky side road and onto the highway.


But he didn’t run – well not until the car was out of sight. Then he pushed the precious book into Jim’s chest, covered his head with the hood of his sweatshirt, and loped off into the trees, picking up speed and recklessly running through the forest and up the mountain path, until the crisp cold morning air made his breathing harsh and painful in his aching chest.


It wasn’t quite dark when he got back to the cabin, and although he was freezing cold and very thirsty, the sight of the warm lights in the windows didn’t fill him with any joy. He’d found a place to sit and contemplate his next move and had finally decided it was time to cut the cord that held Jim and Blair to him. It would be selfish to do anything else.


He knew he’d be welcome back at Jack’s cabin, and that Jack would be willing to lend him the money he needed to buy some land and build his own house. Despite what he’d told Layla, he had no intention of staying in Minnesota. He’d argued back and forward with himself as to whether it was fair to the children to leave without saying goodbye, but he’d finally convinced himself that Elias was too young and that Layla would soon forget. After all, he’d been easily forgotten before.



The next day was quiet and contemplative.


Tony had quietly accepted the warm soup and drinks that Blair had pushed on him, but he found Jim’s concerned expression just too hard to face, so he had retired to his bed and had fallen into an exhausted sleep. The dawn had just been pushing over the top of the mountain when he’d woken, and although he knew it was self-indulgent to put off leaving, he just wanted to bask for a little longer in the freedom and support of the Bond that Jim and Blair had shared with him.


By late morning he was very hungry, and so made an appearance in the kitchen, hoping to find the makings of a major sandwich and a long drink before hiding back in his room.


However, it was not to be.


“Tony, I think we need to talk.” Blair was standing in front of the fire, and for the first time, Tony wished that his gift worked on the Guide. Blair’s expression was giving him nothing.


There was also no sign of Jim, which was strange. The couple seemed to thrive on their closeness, and Tony wondered if that had something to do with Jim’s senses. The Sentinel touched his Guide several times an hour – a kiss, a hug, even just a squeeze to a bicep. The swell of longing for a relationship with them both that pulsed through Tony was a surprise to him. He wasn’t aware his attraction had gone so far, and he knew he’d made the right decision to leave before he made a fool of himself.


“The words no man ever wants to hear,” he quipped but knew the humour fell well short of the mark.


“We feel it all, Tony… through the Bond. Everything.”


Tony’s gut turned to ice and he slumped onto the couch. How could he have not known? He’d thought he was so clever keeping it all to himself, but it should have been obvious that if he was feeling their emotions the connection would go both ways. Blair was a shaman for fuck’s sake and the strongest Guide on Earth. How could he have been so stupid


“I’m sorry, Blair. I should have said something the first time it happened. I understand that you’re both probably pissed, and no doubt feel that I’ve outstayed my welcome. I genuinely was gonna talk to you about this today, and I think it’s time for you to cut me loose and get back to your lives…”


“No, Tony.”


“Look I know you’re both really great guys and you think I need you… and I can’t thank you enough for the shelter you’ve given me, both physical and mental. But its time for me to find a way to deal with this on my own. I have a plan…”


“What plan? To live alone like a hermit, without contact from others, unless Daniel happens by? And what about Layla and Elias. Have you already forgotten the promises you made to that little girl – a little one who trusted you enough to forge a connection with you despite what she’d been through in her life.” Blair’s tone was even, but his eyes blazed with emotion, and so did the Bond. He was angry and it was rather scary to feel the strength of it from the normally even-tempered man.


“I know, I know. But Blair, you’ve got to see it’s the best thing for everyone. She needs to settle down with the Hancock’s and make a family. Give her a couple of weeks and I’ll just be the man who read her a story a few times and did freaky things to see pictures in her mind. Elias won’t care either way.” Tony stood abruptly, his distress like a living thing in his chest as he imagined Layla forgetting him. He had to get away from Blair, otherwise, his emotions were going to explode all over the three of them, and that wouldn’t be pretty.


“Bullshit. I feel you, Tony,” Blair snapped. “And not just through the Bond. My empathic abilities are more than capable of picking up your distress, the pain you carry with you every moment, the rejection and isolation you’ve felt all your life. So, why would you want to run away when we can take some of that away.”


Tony hated that tears were already prickling his eyes. “Because you have everything I’ve ever wanted – someone to love me for me, someone who needs me, desires me, not because I’m available or easy, but because I’m necessary to them.”  He scrubbed his hands over his head in frustration at not being able to make Blair understand. “You don’t want me, you feel sorry for me and that’s not a good reason for you to insert me into your Bond with Jim.”


Blair began to walk steadily towards him, and Tony backed up, not wanting the other man to get near him. He felt as if one touch would shatter him into a million pieces, and he was sure he’d never be able to pull himself back together again.


“You’re wrong, Tony, so very wrong. Considering the Bond goes both ways I’m surprised I have to spell it out for you. We feel the same way you do; the attraction, the awareness, the possibilities…”


It was all too much. Tony couldn’t let himself believe that the vague pull he’d felt from their side of the Bond could possibly be something so amazing. He’d convinced himself that the sudden pulses of arousal had been between Jim and Blair, not aimed at him.


“You don’t mean that, Blair, and I’m sure Jim wouldn’t want to share you – who would want to share when you have a relationship people would kill for. I can’t allow myself to get between you, not for the sake of a pity fuck.”


Blair was shaking his head, but Tony wasn’t going to let the Guide even try to convince him. He knew he was right.


“No, don’t you shake your head at me. You know deep down that I’m right. I’m going to go over to Jack’s place. You can pull back from the Bond now, I can manage for a few minutes without my brain exploding.”


He tried to smile at the other man, but the expression of tenderness on Blair’s face was just too much. Needing to escape he turned… and stepped right into Jim’s embrace.


Up close the Sentinel seemed even bigger than Tony had thought, and his body screamed at him that here was someone who could give him everything he’d ever wanted – care, support, protection. But he knew it was just a fleeting wish and he hated himself for even thinking it.


He had to get away.


Jim however, was not getting with the programme. Without any effort, he stopped Tony’s struggle to leave his arms and murmured in his ear. “Stop it, I don’t want to hurt you and I’m not letting go. We both want you, Tony, the same way you want us. We’re trying to give you what you need.”


Tony felt the press of Blair’s smaller, but compact and strong body against his back, and he couldn’t miss the ridge of the Guide’s erection as it pressed against his ass. In front of him, Jim was holding him tightly to his body, pressing his nose and mouth to Tony’s hair – breathing him in like he was necessary for Jim’s existence.


With a shudder Tony relaxed against Jim’s broad chest, his tears soaking into the Sentinel’s t-shirt.


“That’s it, baby,” Blair murmured from behind him. “We’re going to take good care of you, if you’ll let us.”


He knew there was a choice there; that they were giving him an out. But Tony couldn’t find the strength to fight, although he knew he should. A little voice in the back of his head told him he was an idiot, and that once they realised who and what he really was, that they would reject him. But Blair was the unstoppable force behind him with Jim the unmovable force in front. There was really nowhere else to go but where they wanted him to be.


He’d never trusted anyone enough to give himself over completely, but almost since he’d experienced sex for the first time he’d wanted it desperately; to be able to leave everything in his lovers’ hands and just feel; no rules, no objections, no responsibilities.


“Please,” he croaked out, not sure whether they’d understand. But he should have known better. The Bond and Blair’s ability to interpret it meant there were no misunderstandings.


Blair’s hands were strong and sure as they pressed him into the strength of Jim’s body.


“We understand, Tony. It’s OK, you can trust us.”



Jim looked over Tony’s shoulder and met the gaze of his Guide. There was no reticence in the beloved blue eyes and their Bond hummed with contentment. This felt so right that Jim couldn’t understand why he hadn’t felt the need for a third before. But it was unheard of for an S/G pair to become a Triad, at least not in modern times.


No doubt his love would be researching historical precedents in the not too distant future.


But right now they had a lover to reassure. He could taste the faint tang of distress in Tony’s scent pile, but overlaying that was arousal, which his own body was quickly reflecting. Through the Bond, he could feel Tony’s surrender and it was thrilling, setting his nerves alight and sharpening his senses.


Blair grinned at him and it was both lascivious and childlike at the same time. His Guide was fun in bed; inventive and daring. Jim was excited to find out what his clever brain would do with a third body to play with.


Without a word they began to move Tony to the bedroom, Jim still holding him tightly, aware that Tony needed to be guided, especially as he was sure this was the first time the other man had allowed himself to ask for what he wanted. The thought made a passing sadness flow over Jim. Tony was a gorgeous, vivacious and adaptable man. His body was a thing of fantasy, and his brilliant green eyes and lush mouth enough to make Jim as hard as diamond. To think that no one in his life had ever treated him well –  that he hadn’t had enough trust in them to show his needs – was a travesty.


“Gonna undress you now, Tony.”


Only the slightest hitch in his breath told them he’d heard and understood, but it was enough for a Sentinel and Guide. While he gently pulled Tony’s hoodie over his head, he could hear his Guide murmuring in the background, his words and tone reassuring.


“The Big Man is a consummate Top, love, and a Sentinel is the best lover you’ll ever have. He can feel the slightest movement of a muscle under your skin, can smell when you’re turned on, and when you’re not. He’s stronger than anyone you’ve ever met – if he holds you down, you’re not getting back up until he lets you. Just remember to be honest about what you want. You won’t ever be able to lie to him, but you can trust him to keep you safe. Now you’re his, no one will ever come between us.”


There was a breathy moan from Tony, and it made Jim smile. He could feel the tiny hairs on Tony’s arms rising as his body reacted to Blair’s words. Jim didn’t need to be a Sentinel to feel the reaction of his cock though. It was a thick column pressing against Jim’s thigh, and he couldn’t wait to see it.


But first, he had his own words of reassurance.


“Now Blair, well, he’s an inventive Switch, who can find ways to make you bed that you’ve never imagined. His mouth is a sin, and he uses it, both physically and aurally. He can talk you to an orgasm without ever touching your skin, just by telling you one of his dirty little stories.”


“Fuck,” Tony stammered out, his body beginning to shake with over-stimulation.


“With pleasure,” Blair chuckled as he winked at Jim. “But I think I might have to wait my turn.”


Jim didn’t want Tony to get close to coming too soon, so with a quick nod to Blair, he smoothly took off the rest of Tony’s clothes and urged him onto the bed. Blair had taken the initiative and got undressed too, sliding onto the bed next to Tony, whose gaze was ravenously raking over his body. Jim took a moment to look over his lovers as they lay side by side. Blair’s hairless body was shorter of course, but his body was stocky and thickly muscled around his thighs. Jim had felt those legs wrapped around him more times than he could remember, and knew the ecstasy to be found there.


Tony, on the other hand, was like a classical statue. His body was fairly hair free apart from a few on his chest and the baby fine hairs on his limbs, which for a Sentinel was a relief.


Both men were fully erect and Jim had thought there wasn’t a more beautiful cock to be found than his Guide’s; Blair was cut, of course, of just over average length, but thick and with a slight bend to the right, and a broad vein leading to the head that Jim loved to tease. Now looking at Tony he was enamoured all over again. His cock was long and thick, with a beautifully shaped head peaking through an uncut foreskin. Jim had only ever had one uncut penis before and he had enjoyed it greatly. Looked like those times were back again.


The PA barbell piercing that Blair sported was already wet with pre-come and Jim couldn’t wait to taste him. Tony’s eyes were feverishly wandering Jim’s body, zeroing back on his cock over and over again. He obviously liked what he saw, as he was leaking like a faucet, a long string of pre-ejaculate joining the end of his cock with his wet belly. Jim’s mouth watered.


“I think we need to take the pressure off for Tony, sweetheart,” Blair murmured and Jim could see he was right. It was only going to take a touch, and Tony was going to go off like a July 4th rocket. But as he knee walked up from the end of the bed, there was a little niggle of concern through the Bond, and Jim waited for a second or two to see if Tony would tell him what was wrong. But it seemed it was too soon and they weren’t there yet, so he pressed himself against Tony’s side, and made a mental note to thank Daniel for the California King bed. They’d have to commission something even bigger when they finally decided where home was going to be – Blair was a bed hog.


“Tell me what you need,” he murmured.


Jim leaned over Tony and pressed a slow, hot kiss to the lush lips, only lifting away as breathing became an issue. Tony gave a little negative cry and followed him as he moved away, and Jim chuckled.


“You can have as many of those as you want – after you tell me.”


Tony shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed, but Jim wasn’t willing to let him hide, and it seemed neither was Blair.


“You need to talk to us, sweetheart. We want to give you what you need, and this Bond is great, but we don’t get the words, just the feelings.”


“Please, don’t make me…” Tony moaned as he opened eyes glazed with arousal.


“Don’t make you what?” Jim insisted, although he had a good idea.


There was a moment when he thought Tony might try to lie to him, but he’d underestimated how brave he was.


“Don’t let me come… make me wait.”


“Oooohhh,” Blair moaned. “Is that what you do, when you’re all alone in your bed. You stroke yourself, slow and gentle, seeing how long you can last, making yourself work for it. Is that how it is, Tony?”


The sound Tony made told how desperately aroused he was, and wanting… no needing, to be the one to touch him first, Jim caught Tony’s hands as he was reaching for his cock.


“I told you, didn’t I. Told you he could make you come with just words. Well, I’m happy to make you wait; make you beg and plead for me to let you come. We can buy you a cock ring, cinch you nice and tight and make you feel like you’re gonna explode… but not today.”


With that, Jim leaned down and took Tony’s cock right to the root, sucking down hard, as his sensitive tongue sought out all the clusters of nerves and capillaries that would give him the most pleasure. Tony tasted amazing; his skin, his sweat, his pre-come, all melding into a taste that Jim would never forget. Far in the back of his head a quiet voice said, ‘imprinting’ but he knew that couldn’t be the case, after all, Tony wasn’t a Guide.


Moments later Tony’s orgasm hit him hard. His come poured out of him and his cry of completion almost took the Sentinel over the top with him too. By sheer effort of will, Jim clamped down on his reaction, as he gentled Tony’s aftershocks, cradling his softening cock against his tongue.


Once he could feel the minute jerks that denoted hypersensitivity, he pulled off and was immediately attacked by Blair, his soft mobile lips pressed hard against him, Blair’s tongue searching out the taste of their new lover for the first time.


When they pulled apart Blair was panting, his body swathed in a light sheen of sweat, his cock dripping on his thigh and purpling at the head.


“What do you want, baby,” Jim asked his Guide, knowing there would be no problem with Blair asking for what he wanted.


However, he didn’t get an immediate answer. Blair leaned across him to the bedstand and rummaged in the drawer, firstly pulling out a brand new box of condoms and some lube, and then one of the wide leather laces that the Guide used to tie up his gorgeous hair.


“I want you to fuck him from behind, but on your side. We’re going to give him what he wants and hold him back until we’re ready to make him come. Meanwhile, he can show me how good he is with his hands and that fabulous mouth.”


Jim could feel Tony panting under him, and he looked down into Tony’s lust filled eyes. He didn’t need to be a Sentinel to know that Tony was behind that.


They soon had Tony bound in the leather, and Jim had to admit the look was amazing. In fact, he thought having both his lovers with limbs and cocks bound would be an unbelievable turn on, but he was too far gone to play like that, so he kept the thought for another time.


Jim could feel the tension in Tony’s muscles as he held back from touching Blair. It was kind of a surprise to find that a man so full of personality and energy could want to be so totally controlled, but Jim was going to enjoy the hell out of learning this new dynamic. He also had an advantage over Mundanes who played this way, in that he would never miss distress or discomfort from his lover, no matter how much into the scene he was. It made the need for safe words etc kind of redundant, but he didn’t expect that level of trust from Tony for a long time yet.


“Green for good, amber for slow down and red for stop, alright, Tony?”


Tony nodded, and then seemed about to speak but didn’t.


“Tell us, love,” Blair urged him and Jim could feel Blair using his empathy to ease Tony’s nerves.


“Kiss me?” Tony whispered, Sentinel soft.


“Oh with pleasure.”


They traded off kisses, and Jim used all his senses to arouse both his lovers. As Tony settled into the rhythm that Jim and Blair had learned through years of life together, Jim took a moment to open the condom box and tear one off. He looked over at Blair who gave him a cheeky and knowing grin.


Jim knew he was bigger than most, and Blair had obviously thought ahead while they were out with the children.  He hadn’t had to use a condom for a long time of course, but Durex XXL were the only brand that fitted well enough for sex with a new partner. He didn’t doubt they would all get tested soon, but until then he wasn’t going to risk any of them.


Knowing that opening Tony would get him hot, Jim decided to suit up. This first time was going to be quick and dirty, but there was a lifetime of chances for taking his time. They just needed to prove to Tony that they were being truthful about their feelings.


Once the condom was on, he wet his fingers with the lube, dribbling more down Tony’s crack and getting a deep groan for his efforts. Jim reached down and ran his sensitive fingertips around the rim of Tony’s hole. Tony melted into the movement, making Jim snatch a breath, and pull sharply at his balls. His lover’s submission was gorgeous, and if he kept responding like that, he was going to be the death of Jim.


Tony’s first orgasm had relaxed him, and the guardian ring gave easily to Jim’s ministrations. He looked over to see Blair and Tony kissing, one of Tony’s hands buried in Blair’s hair and the other wrapped around his cock. The Guide appeared to be enjoying the attention very much.


As Jim worked Tony open he let himself wonder how little it bothered him to see his Guide like this. Before now, the idea of anyone even touching his Guide in a friendly manner would have had him growling like a Neanderthal. But for some reason Tony was different.


As he began to scissor his fingers, the feel of Tony’s body and the sounds his lovers were making stopped any higher brain function. His libido was going into primitive mode and he was ready to make Tony his in the basest way.


“Gonna fuck you, baby. Fill you with my cock and make you scream.”


“Oh, yeah,” Blair moaned, “Fuck him, Jim. He’s ready for you.”


Tony was beyond speech it seemed. His cock was red and straining against the leather tied around its base. Blair had wrapped his hand around Tony’s and was using it to stroke himself slow and firm, just the way Jim knew he liked it.


Jim drizzled lube over his own iron hard cock, not wanting to risk pushing himself over before he was inside Tony. He indulged himself with a couple of slides right from the top of Tony’s crack to his balls and back, then with a firm, slow slide he seated himself deep inside.


He was so hot and tight, that Jim couldn’t breathe for a moment. The pressure was unbelievable and the sounds Tony was making were almost enough to send Jim over the top. But Blair had been watching and reached over, pulling just firmly enough on Jim’s balls to back him from the edge.


Jim tangled his fingers in Blair’s curls and pulled him so their mouths met over Tony’s straining body. Blair’s hand began to move faster, pressing Tony’s fingers into his cock. As they broke apart Blair moaned and lifted his lust filled gaze to meet Jim’s.


“Nearly there,” he gasped, getting his knees under him and using the circle of his and Tony’s hands to fuck into.


The sight was so arousing that Jim could feel the first curl of orgasm already moving through his body. Unwilling to have this over quite yet, Jim began long sure strokes into Tony, who was whimpering and crying out unintelligibly – obviously overcome with arousal and stimulation. Jim reached around, pressing his thumb against Blair’s slit, making him moan loudly and begin to pump out come in thick ropes across the golden skin of Tony’s thigh. Jim swiped his fingers through the mess and brought it to his lips.


Sight, smell, sound, taste and touch all coalesced into the pleasure that was arrowing through his balls and up through the centre of his cock. He knew he needed to untie Tony, but his coordination was shot. As he fumbled with the leather, Blair slapped his hands away.


Free to find his own pleasure, Jim slammed into Tony twice more and then the world greyed around the edges as he came hard, his cock pumping into Tony, still hard and ready despite having shot his load.


A cry from Tony had his eyes zeroing in on the other man, as once again Tony gave his body up to his orgasm, shaking as he pumped come onto Blair and the bed beneath them. Acting with the synchronicity of years of life together, they simultaneously, pressed their bodies against Tony’s, front and rear, holding him tightly through the aftershocks. After a few moments, Tony cried out again, only this time it sounded distressed.


“Oh, pl’se. I…I… feel like.. gonna… gonna flo’t ‘way,” he slurred, obviously dropping fast.


“It’s alright,” Blair reassured him, pressing gentle kisses to his forehead and lips. “We’ve got you, we’ve got you.”


“Yeah, baby, you can let go.” Jim held Tony tightly as the man came apart between them, his body shaking with reaction. It was several minutes before the trembling began to calm, but tears soon followed, although they could tell through the Bond that Tony was just overwhelmed rather than sad.


Jim smiled over at Blair, who looked back at him, his expression a little melancholy. They both knew it would be an uphill climb to mend some of the emotional damage Tony had suffered over the years, and no doubt the mix of his gifts and theirs would take some working out, but between them they had the skill and the will. There was also the issue of the kids and their long-term permanent placement. Jim was sure Tony wanted to have a role in their lives, but what form that would take was unclear right then.


However, no matter what, Jim was sure the three of them belonged together, and he would do anything, go anywhere, fight anyone to make sure no one got in the way of that.


“We’ve got you, Tony. You’re safe now.”



“Gibbs, I think I’ve found him.”




“A Sean O’Neill owns a large acreage just outside Deer River – in fact, the family have owned half the mountain from way back. It’s about 100 miles from Duluth. I’ve done some surface searches and managed to find an article in the Deer River Chronicle about the son of a local carpenter Sean O’Neill, graduating from the Air Force Academy. The son’s name was Jonathon.  Local records show that Sean died over 20 years ago but that title for the land is still current.”


“Good job, McGee.”


“Thanks, Boss.”


“I want you on cold cases tomorrow.”


“Erm, OK, Boss, but… but…


“What? Spit it out , McGee!”


Well, where will you and Ziva be?”


“Where do ya think. Flying into Duluth…”

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About Bindingdiva

I'm a Middle Aged Teenager with Delusions of Creative Genius. I mostly write slash and my OTP is Jack/Daniel, closely followed by McShep although Gibbs/DiNozzo is rapidly gaining...and I have a thing for Harry/Draco and both iterations of Spock/Kirk...then there's Reid/Hotch ...Ho hum...Lets just say I love gorgeous men doing dirty fun stuff to one another. I have always written. I've had poetry published in the past but fell deeply for fanfiction during a long bout of illness which is still ongoing. I'm a fic slut who reads avidly across a number of fandoms (see the list above) and adore long stories. Keira Marcos, JillyJames, Ladyholder, and Chris King are all my fic heroines. Maybe one day, if I'm very good and eat all my greens, I might be able to put out fic of the quality they do...It's good to dream. In the meantime I post my stories on my website - The Deranged Doodles of a Dysfunctional Diva - at and I also post on the Wild Hare Project.


  1. Blair and Jim are going to fight so hard for Tony!


  2. I waited to the end of comments so as not to interrupt anybody’s process. I have to tell you this is been one of my favorite stories. I can totally see the trio of Jim, Blair and Tony. The pacing in the building the story have been so perfect. Thanks for sharing all your hard work and creativity.

  3. I suppose it would be horrible to hope for a plane crash huh? Great chapter. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Oh my,,, That was soooo hot!! I look forward to following your story where ever you post it!! And an evilGibbs,, that is new and wow! Keep up the wonderful work!!!!!!!!

  5. Something tells me Gibbs and Ziva will not be getting a warm welcome.

  6. Lovely part. Jim and Blair are obviously the best thing that’s ever happened to Tony. {{{Tony}}}

    Thanks so much!

  7. Great chapter. Thank you for sharing

  8. The trio is together … they can fight off the approaching threats of Gibbs and Ziva.

  9. I was so into the intensity and beauty of Tony’s first time with Jim and Blair that I lost track of what was going on in DC! What a time for McGee to be useful. It’s also interesting to see Gibbs to off the rails. Thanks so much for the great chapter!

  10. Good update

  11. I love the story. This post left me breathless. Absolutely beautiful sex scene.

  12. Things may not turn out quite the way Gibbs is anticipating as I doubt Tony will want to leave and there is no way Blair and Jim will let him go without a fight, not to mention Jack and Daniel.

  13. That was hot and sweet and poor Tony just doesn’t realize just how much Jim and Blair (and Jack and Daniel) care for him and will fight for him. It’ll take time, but I have hopes that J&B will help Tony heal.

    As for Gibbs – he just ain’t right in the head. And his belief that he’s gonna get Tony back so easily – my money’s on ‘the old Air Force guy’ and the Sentinel. Let’s not forget Blair. I kinda hope Ziva gets in his face, just for the pleasure of watching him tear her a new one.

    Yet another wonderful tale, well told. Thank you!

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