Incubus Blues – Episode 4

Content Rating:
  • NC-17
Warning(s):
  • Violence-Canon-Level
Genre(s):
  • Alternate Universe
  • Episode Related
  • Urban Fantasy
Relationship(s):
Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid|Raith

Word Count:
8677

Author's Note:
Almost at the end.Just one more episode after this.

Summary:
Despair - What to do when you have no hope

Incubus Blues – Episode 4

The bottom line is that we never fall for the person we’re supposed to.

—Jodi Picoult

Revelations

Pain, so much pain, all over his body and especially in his foot where Hankel had beat him and probably broken the bones. His vampire strength and healing completely gone, Spencer could barely feel his demon at all. The Hunger was quieted for the first time since it first awoke in him as a teenager; Spencer had never felt so human in his life and frankly it sucked.

He hated being so weak and helpless, unable to even lift a finger in his own rescue. To make matters worse the drugs, while doing nothing for his pain, fuzzed his mind so much he could barely string two sentences together, let alone figure out how to escape.

        Luckily, the drug was metabolized through his system quicker than a regular human which allowed him to give his team a small clue about the poaching; but then Hankel was back and injecting him with the drug, and he was so lost…..so lost in his own mind all over again. Through it all the main thought on his mind remained that he might never get to see Aaron again and the man would never know how he felt about him.

        Dying seemed to help kickstart his demon again even though his strength was only coming back in dribs and drabs. It really wasn’t much of a surprise that the name that came to him first when Hankel made him choose was Aaron’s since he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the man.

        Finally, finally his hands were uncuffed, making it easier for Spencer to escape since he was almost back to full strength now, and his Hunger had come roaring back with a vengeance. It was then only the work of a moment for Spencer to brush a hand against Hankel’s arm, draining him that way as his Hunger was so strong after so long being suppressed.

With Hankel nearly dead at his feet, Spencer was now partially healed of all the wounds inflicted on him and he was able to drag him into the woods and dig a partial grave for him. He still wasn’t thinking clearly or he would have just shot the man and run away, but in his muddled mind he had to cover up the cause of Hankel’s death and burying him seemed like the way to go.

        When he heard the others coming to rescue him, however, he panicked and shot Hankel, collapsing immediately after. Seeing Hotch again, Spencer couldn’t help but cling a little longer than was necessary, so happy to be back in the arms of the man he loved.

                                                        *********************

        Watching his love die was one of the worst experiences of his life. Hotch couldn’t breathe; he couldn’t think. It was like his whole being had stopped and he was frozen. It was only when Spencer started to breathe again that he unfroze, his own breath coming out in a sob. Before he could be too relieved though, Hankel started his cruel game of Russian roulette, making Spencer choose someone on the team to die. Aaron stood there willing Spencer to say his name, to choose him to die as he would gladly die in place of his love.

        When Spencer finally said his name Aaron was stunned until he heard the next words out of his mouth, then he was awestruck that the young man had been able to give them a clue as to his location even while beaten and drugged. Finding Spencer next to the freshly dug grave and the man he had been forced to kill to save himself hurt Hotch’s heart, and he clung to the other man as he lifted him off the ground. If not for JJ tapping his shoulder, he didn’t think he would have ever let go of Spencer.

 

Jones

        The drug was thankfully not addictive to vampires like it was with humans, but the effects of suppressing his Hunger was something that Spencer found himself craving more than he had thought possible. In the back of his mind was the thought that if he could suppress his Hunger completely then maybe he and Hotch stood a chance and so he stole the drugs off a dead man. And he used it whenever he was left alone long enough to do so.

        Spencer’s father came down as soon as Hotch called the man to inform him that they had found his son, and he stayed with Spencer for a few days, making sure that his son had everything he needed to healincluding victims to feed off. Spencer hated every minute of it as he just wanted to be left alone to test out his new theory about the drugs. When his dad left a couple of days later he found Garcia and the rest of the team visiting him in shifts, making it practically impossible for him to shoot up.

        He couldn’t see the damage he was causing himself by starving his Hunger and suppressing it, and he grew increasingly frustrated and surly with every failed attempt. It wasn’t until the case in New Orleans that he finally admitted defeat and gave up his little experiments.

        He missed the plane, the first time he had ever shirked work, and he nearly killed his friend with just a touch when the drugs wore off at an inopportune moment. Only Ethan’s own supernatural nature and quick reflexes saved him. Spencer couldn’t stop apologizing even as Ethan tore into him for his carelessness and lack of control.

Finally, the man managed to get his friend to promise to give up the drugs and face the fact that the Hunger wasn’t going anywhere. Ethan wasn’t unsympathetic to Spencer’s pain, and he held the younger man as he cried out his grief and the pain of never being able to be with the man he loved and who loved him in any real way.

Spencer left New Orleans a depressed and beaten man. If it weren’t for Thomas, who had come to stay with him for the weekend, he might have sunk deeper into depression and given up completely; but his cousin managed to give him some hope, and Spencer determined that if he wasn’t ever able to have Aaron he would at least have the work that brought them together.

 

Evilution of Frank, Doubt & In Name and Blood

        Frank Brietkopf was Gideon’s downfall. The psychopath not only got the better of the team, once managing to run away with the woman he claimed to love, he also came back and killed Gideon’s lady love. Sometimes the way humans behaved made Spencer wonder if there wasn’t some monster in them to begin with. It seemed inconceivable to him that with so many predators hunting them from the shadows, humans still went out of their way to hurt each other this way.

        In the end Spencer felt that it was not so much losing Sarah that caused Gideon’s break down but the fact that he had lost to Frank. Not being able to stop Frank from taking Jane’s lifealong with his own, closely followed by the debacle in Flagstaff where it felt like they lost all over again, was what caused Gideon to lose faith in himself and the work they did.

        Gideon hadn’t been quite the same since Bale, but as the losses seemed to add up over the years he broke down a little at a time until there wasn’t anything left to give. The worst part about it was that Hotch was blamed for the entire debacle and suspended. Hotch couldn’t help thinking that maybe it was a blessing in disguise, a way to stay away from Spencer and not have his heart broken every day working with the man he could never have.

But Garcia wouldn’t let him leave, and after two weeks suspension seeing Spencer again felt like a breath of fresh air. Like he had come alive again after two weeks of barely surviving, and Hotch knew that he would never leave the BAU, not as long as it offered him the opportunity to be around Spencer every day. He knew it was pathetic but he couldn’t help himself. He felt like he might stifle if he never saw Spencer again.

 

Damaged

        Chester Hardwick was a hard and brutal man. A psychopathic serial killer that had nobody’s best interests at heart but his own. They really should have known that he had an ulterior motive in agreeing to the interview. Listening to Hardwick’s plan to beat them both to death and thus postpone his own death had Hotch panicking a little.

He couldn’t lose Spencer like this; he just couldn’t bear to watch the other man die in front of him. Not without trying to do something about it. He tried to divert the psychopath’s attention towards himself by taunting and threatening the man in return, and it was working…Hardwick’s attention was completely focused on him.

Hotch wasn’t sure if he would survive the fight, but he knew that at least if he had all Hardwick’s attention then Spencer might make it out alive, and that was the important thing. But then Spencer started talking, and it was like Hardwick was mesmerized. Hotch couldn’t blame him. Spencer was at his best when he was putting his incredible brain to use solving problems, and Hotch was having trouble controlling his physical reaction to the man while also staying alert in case it didn’t work and Hardwick attacked.

He needn’t have worried. Spencer effortlessly stalled the killer by talking about the one thing guaranteed to catch his attentionhimself. Hotch couldn’t be more impressed or aroused. He left the interview room as quickly as possible, and almost ran to the car hoping against hope that Spencer wouldn’t notice his little problem.

Spencer had noticed. It would be difficult not to, and he was flattered that such a small thing had Hotch so aroused. The drive to the motel where they were staying the night was quiet and filled with an awkward silence that neither man knew how to break.  When they finally got to the room Hotch had finally had enough. He whirled round, nearly running into Reid, grabbed the genius by his collar and kissed him with all the desperation of a man sure he was going to be denied.

Spencer first melted into the kiss, but once the surprise wore off he pushed him away shaking his head in denial.

“No no no no no. We can’t do this. We are not doing this. You and me…we don’t do this anymore,” he said as he backed away from Hotch, a look of sadness in his eyes.

“Why? Can you at least tell me why you suddenly pushed me away Spence? Please, just tell me why. You said no strings, and I agreed. I have never asked for anything more than you were willing to give. So why?” Hotch asked, moving closer to the fleeing man.

        “Don’t give me that, Hotch. I’m a profiler too, remember? I know youre in love with me. You think I can’t see that? You may not have asked but I-I don’t want that. I never wanted that,” Reid said, aiming to hurt Hotch as much as he could so the man would finally stay away. He turned and fled from the room to hide his own tears at the pain he knew he was inflicting on the man he loved.

        Hotch collapsed onto the bed in tears. He had wondered if it was probably something like that, but to have it confirmed that the man he loved didn’t want his love, it was too much for him. He cursed himself for holding out hope for so long. After all, what would such a bright and beautiful man want with the likes of him? He was too old and had too much baggage for someone who had so much going for them. He curled up in the middle of the bed fully dressed and cried till there were no more tears, then he fell into a fitful sleep. He didn’t notice Reid come in later, his own eyes swollen and red-rimmed from crying.

        The next morning Hotch woke up with a pounding headache from last night’s tears, but he was determined to act as professional as possible. If he couldn’t have Spencer as his lover then he would at least have him as his colleague. So he downed two Aspirin and apologized to Spencer when he woke up, assuring him that he would be completely professional and he didn’t have to worry about anything, causing Spencer to wince internally and feel grateful as he really didn’t think he could bear to leave the BAU.  

 

Elephant’s Memory

        Spencer was late for the briefing, and he was never late. He also lied, and Aaron couldn’t help but wonder what the young profiler had actually been doing that had made him so late. All the calls had gone directly to his voicemail without ringing through at all, and that made Aaron even more suspicious.

        The case in West Bune, TX was bad–a teenager with guns, a list of grudges a mile long and negligible survival instincts. Spencer had been busy helping Harry and Thomas with a small case that involved some dead practitioners and had had his phone turned off to prevent Harry from accidentally frying it. Stepping out to check his messages, he had heard the message from JJ a little late and had nearly not made it back to DC in time. It was only with Harry’s help and travelling through the Nevernever that he managed to get back before the team left for Texas.

        Spencer couldn’t help but identify with Owen. The poor kid had had nobody looking out for him, and hed been relentlessly bullied; and Spencer knew that that’s exactly where he himself would have been if it weren’t for his father stepping in and forcing the school to do something about it. He had been spared quite a lot thanks to the wealth and power of his family. Nobody, not even teenagers, were willing to do anything to piss of the Raiths.

        Watching Spencer struggle with his feelings of identifying with the unsub and confiding in Morgan hurt Hotch more than he could bear. He knew Spencer would not welcome his help. The last straw was watching him block their shot while trying to talk Owen down wearing neither gun nor vest. It took every last shred of control Hotch possessed not to run forward and pull Spencer back.

When it was resolved, luckily without anyone being hurt, all he wanted to do was gather the man he loved in his arms and never let him go; but he knew Spencer would not welcome it, and so he forced himself to be the boss and instead chastised him for his recklessness. He couldn’t, however, resist one last pat to his shoulder as he walked away.

 

Tabula Rasa

        The Blue Ridge strangler case seemed like a particularly cruel twist of fate to both men as it reminded them both of their first time together. It was also a particularly controversial case in that it brought up thorny issues of memory loss and how they affect personality.

Aaron and Spencer were forced to work closely together for the case, and it really didn’t help that the DA kept flirting openly with Aaron right in front of Spencer. Every time she flirted Aaron would cast covert glances at the younger man in hopes that it would get a reaction, and for his part Spencer would pretend that he wasn’t eaten up with jealousy while a part of him wished that Aaron would accept her offer of dinner or drinks so his love could be happy.

Watching Aaron shred the defense attorney on the stand was one of the hottest things Spencer had ever seen, and it took all his control not to grab the man and drag him off to have his way with him. Aaron had seen the look Spencer had directed him during his testimony and he had really been hoping the other man would live up to the promise in his eyes, but Spencer was back to acting completely professional as though he hadn’t just fantasized about fucking his unit chief in the men’s room at the courthouse.

As they were leaving, the DA repeated her offer of drinks, and much as a part of Aaron wanted to accept just to spite Spencer he knew it wouldn’t be fair to her when the man he loved beyond all reason was right there in front of him. The drive back was filled with uncomfortable silences, neither man knowing what to say.

 

Lo-fi & Mayhem

        The case in New York was a strange one. Nothing fit. Everything about the case felt off from the way Hotch was flirting with the head of the New York field office to the way JJ was behaving and Morgan’s show of anger and resentment. The whole team was off in a way that they had never been before, and Spencer was unsure as to how to fix it.

Only Rossi and Garcia seemed to be the same as usual, as even Spencer was feeling it. Every time Aaron smiled at Kate or laughed at something she said it made him grit his teeth and wish he could drag Aaron away from her and put his stamp on him.

He had to keep reminding himself that Aaron wasn’t his and he would probably be better off with Kate, but it didn’t stop the churning ball of jealousy and self-loathing in his stomach from keeping him distracted. Everyone was so distracted by their own little dramas that they almost didn’t catch the terrorism angle.

And by then it was too late. The bomb went off, injuring Hotch and nearly killing Kate, and Spencer couldn’t find a way to get to Hotch and make sure that the man he loved was alright. This made him angry and irritable, and even his Hunger was riled up at the thought that its favored prey may be damaged in some way. It was all he could do to get to the hospital with the others and meet Hotch there to work through the rest of the case.

Hotch’s very concern for Kate had him snarling internally like a feral animal, especially as he could see how hurt Hotch was while the Hunger gleefully pointed out every single weakness they could use. So he stayed as far away as he could from the older man while making sure that Hotch was getting the medical attention that he needed.

Hotch could see the concern for him in Spencer’s eyes, but still the younger man stayed away and he couldn’t really understand it. Sometimes the young genius acted like he cared about Hotchlike he wanted himbut then, in the blink of an eye, he would change, becoming nothing more than a friendly but distant coworker.

The first thing Spencer did once the case was wrapped up was visit one of the clubs owned by the family in New York and find as many willing bodies to feed on as possible to burn off some of the rage, jealousy and pain he was feeling; but no amount of feedings could make him feel anything but hollow, and he finally dragged himself back to the hotel where they were all staying, nearly running into a recently released from the hospital Hotch on his way to his room.

The quicksilver shifts in Spencer’s moods and attitude were getting to Hotch, and he was resolved to get to the bottom of it once and for all. He decided to make use of the opportunity that presented itself and told Spencer he would be driving him home as the older man wasn’t allowed to fly. He hoped that the hours stuck together in the car would be enough for him to get to the bottom of it, so he was doubly disappointed that it wasn’t Spencer but Morgan who showed up to drive him home.

 

Minimal Loss

        Hotch was in hell. The past few months had passed in a flurry of cases and they were too busy for Aaron to find time to corner Spencer and have it out with him once and for all besides he was too afraid that the only thing he would get out of it would be a rejection all over again and he wasn’t sure his heart could handle another.

        Hotch had not been happy to send Spencer with Emily to investigate the cult but as Spencer had pointed out himself the he would come off as least threatening allowing the people in the cult to feel comfortable talking to him. But now, now he wished he had sent anybody other than the love of his life in there, then maybe he could be relied upon to make a sensible decision to resolve the current hostage situation.

        Feeling shaky and overwhelmed he put Rossi in charge of the negotiations and spent the next hours listening for a sign, any sign that Spencer was alive and well. He was worried about Emily as well but he had not felt such blinding fear since Hankel had kidnapped Spencer and the only thing that got him through the next few hours was Rossi’s quiet support and the thought that Spencer had managed to save himself from Hankel while drugged out of his mind so he should be able to take care of himself in this situation.

        All that didn’t help however when Cyrus found out that there was an FBI agent holed up with them and demanded to know who it was. Hotch would be ever grateful to Emily for admitting to being the agent and sparing Spencer the beating, he didn’t think he would have been able to keep himself from storming the place to save Spencer if it had been the young genius being beaten like that.

        Hour after hour passed with them no close to a resolution and Cyrus getting more and more erratic and demanding. Hearing Cyrus tell his followers that they had just drunk poison caused Hotch’s heart to stop and it only restarted when it was proven to be a lie. He didn’t think he could take any more of this stress. He needed it to be over but he didn’t trust himself to go in with the team storming the compound and it was tearing him apart.

        Finally Hotch made Morgan the one in charge of the raid and stayed behind praying to every god he knew. He saw survivors pouring out of the compound along with Emily but no Morgan or Spencer and then the whole place went up in flames and still no Spencer. Hotch was practically hyperventilating with only Rossi’s hand on his shoulder in unspoken support held him in place. Finally he saw both missing members of his team stumbling out, coughing and sooty; smoke curling around them as Morgan practically dragged Spencer along behind him.

        The relief at seeing his love whole and unharmed was enormous and nearly caused the older profiler’s knees to buckle. As soon as his legs would support him he dragged himself into a corner to pull himself together and try to let go of the tension and stress of the past day and a half.

When that didn’t work he tried redirecting his frustrations to the clean-up but he only ended up messing up till Rossi finally got tired of him and sent him back to the hotel to get some rest. Spencer and Emily had already gone to the hotel after being checked over by the paramedics.

Aaron knew that Spencer was alright aside from a little smoke inhalation and a couple of bruises but still he had to see for himself and so he knocked on the door to Spencer’s room instead of going to his own.

As soon as Spencer opened his door looking absolutely delectable in just a pair of sleep pants he couldn’t help himself and pushed the genius backwards into the room kicking the door shut after him. Once the door was shut he grabbed a startled Spencer and pushed him onto the bed following him down and kissing him with all the desperation and fear of the past two days.

Spencer could feel every one of Aaron’s emotions and he knew that the other man was close to breaking point but he couldn’t allow this to continue so he gently pushed the older man back shaking his head sadly.

“No Aaron. We’ve talked about this already. I don’t do emotions.” He lied

“Please Spencer I need to feel you. I need to know that you are still alive and well.” Aaron begged. He knew it was pathetic but he couldn’t help himself, he needed Spencer.

“Fine we can sleep together….just sleep. I’m not having sex with you.” Spencer relented; a part of him needed his love near after what he had just been through.

“Thank you Spencer, thank you.” Hotch said feeling pathetically grateful for such small intimacies.

“Ok, now let me up so we can get under the covers.” Spencer said gently pushing on Hotch’s chest.

        Spencer turned down the covers and got into the bed while Hotch stripped to his boxers and slipped in next to him. Spencer pulled him close so he was lying with his head on the younger man’s chest. Spencer somehow always knew exactly what Aaron needed and he was soon soothed to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat with Spencer following soon after.

        When he woke up the next morning Hotch found he was still wrapped up in Spencer’s strong arms and unwilling to leave the circle of his arms just yet he tipped his head up and watched Spencer sleep. It was something he had done a few times in the days before Lila Archer ruined things for him.

        As he watched Spencer stirred. He opened his hazel eyes and gave Aaron a sleepy smile before giving him a sweet kiss filled with tenderness. When the kiss came to an end he smiled again and disentangled himself from Hotch like it was something he did every day.

“You can have the bathroom next” Spencer called over his shoulder as he headed to the bathroom closing the door behind him. Once there Spencer thunked his head against the mirror cursing his sleepy self for what he had just done. He had no business kissing Hotch like that. Hotch deserved much better.

        Torn between waiting to talk to Spencer and not wanting to get caught coming out of Spencer’s room Hotch hesitated but finally he dressed quickly and slipped out of the room cursing himself for chickening out.

 

52 Pickup

        Since the night they spent together in Colorado Aaron had felt that there was a certain understanding between him and Spencer even if they hadn’t talked about it or done anything about it. But hearing from Morgan about how Spencer had been flirting with the bartender and given him her number hurt and he finally began to realize that there really might not be any future for him with Spencer and he needed to move on.

        Listening to Morgan’s teasing and how proud he was of ‘his boy’ getting some made Hotch seethe with anger and jealousy but there was really nothing that he could do about it, Spencer wasn’t his, had never been his. And so with a heavy heart he decided to try to put Spencer from his thoughts and move on.

 

Pleasure is my Business

        Aaron had taken to training for the triathlon in his spare time to work off his frustrations. It was relaxing to just move and forget all his problems and it helped keep him in shape. As he was finishing up one of his runs a woman approached him and it took him a while to figure out that she was flirting with him. He easily accepted her card as part of his efforts to move on from Spencer but he wasn’t sure that he would ever use it.

        Dave however convinced him that he needed to give her a call, at least agree to train together and see how it went from there. Before he could even call her they got called out to a case in Texas involving a prostitute killing high-powered businessmen. It was a world that Spencer was eminently familiar with. His family ran half the big businesses in the world from behind the scenes and he was able to discretely arrange for them to give them the information that they needed to crack the case.

        Watching Spencer move with such ease in the world of money and power, playing politics so easily with the best of them was another revelation to Aaron and he began to wonder if he really knew the man at all or only deluded himself that he did.

        When they got back after the case he called Beth and arranged to train together. The woman seemed pleasant and friendly and they had a lot of fun training together, encouraging each other to do better.

 

Demonology

The case Emily brought them was particularly strange from the beginning. Hotch had been dropping off Beth after their date when Emily first called him about her friend. The date with Beth had been fun and interesting and Beth was a lovely woman who was also smart and funny. But when she kissed him at the end of the night he barely felt a flash of heat and definitely none of the desperation and need he felt when Spencer so much as smiled at him. He wondered if it was even worth it to try dating right now when his mind and heart were still so completely tangled up in Spencer.

As soon as Spencer walked into the crime scene he knew what had happened there. He could practically smell it. There was the taint of one of the Outsiders in the room. Spending so much time around Harry and travelling between Chicago and DC via the Nevernever had made him more attuned to their magic. He had lately been spending every spare minute with Thomas and Harry as he knew that they understood his pain and supported his decision.

The only thing that he was unsure of was whether the taint was from the priest or the victims. When he met the priest he could clearly see the taint of the Outsider all over him and he was unsure of how exactly to get rid of one that had sunk its hooks so deeply into a person. Nathan Harris had been easy as it had been just starting to whisper in the boy’s ears but this priest was so far gone the Outsider barely needed to maintain contact for him to do what it wished.

He thought it might be too much for even Harry so he called Ebenezar McCoy. The old man didn’t answer his phone as usual so he just left a message and waited to hear back. Meanwhile Hotch was embroiled in the politics of the situation which just seemed to get worse as the case progressed and Spencer could see the toll it was taking on him.

The young incubus couldn’t bear to see how much the situation was distressing him so he managed to get word to his mother’s contact’s in the Vatican and persuaded them of the danger that Father Silvano posed to everyone around him and they final agreed with some persuasion from McCoy, who had finally called Spencer back, to help deport the priest from the US and bring him back to holy ground where the Outsider could possibly be banished with the help of the White Council.

 

Amplification

        Hotch had barely gotten back from dropping off the priest when the call came in from the DOJ about a potential anthrax attack. Things spiraled quickly from there and ended with Spencer locked in Dr. Nichols’ lab exposed to the deadly toxin. IT took every scrap of control Hotch possessed not to run inside and drag the younger man out, wrap him up in his arms and never let go.

Spencer for his part was terrified. The disease seemed to be affecting him at an accelerated rate which unlike the normal form of the disease which barely affected White Court vampires at all. But he knew that he could not let on to his teammates as they would insist on dragging him to hospital and he firmly believed that his only chance of survival was in finding the cure and possibly the unsub.

So the young genius lied and hid his symptoms from everyone even as he desperately searched for the cure that he knew had to be hidden in the lab. As he started losing hope of finding it in time to help him he decided to call Garcia.

“Hey Reid.” Garcia said sadly.

“Gee, wow, no, uh. No witty Garcia greeting for me?” Spencer asked trying desperately to suppress his coughs.

“I can’t be my sparkly self when you are where you are.” Garcia answered sighing.

“Garcia, do you think you can do something for me?”

“Anything.”

“I, uh I know I can’t call my parents without breaking about a dozen regulations” Spencer said hesitantly, “I, uh I need you to record a message for my family in case anything happens to me.”

“Oh, nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re gonna brilliantly find out who did this and we’re gonna treat this strain.” Garcia replied trying to control her tears.

“I hope you’re right, But if you’re not, I just– I really want to make sure that they hear my voice.” Spencer said his breathing a little labored.

“Ok. I’m recording.” Garcia said tears streaming down her face at the thought of losing her friend. She didn’t notice Hotch entering her office quietly his stoic face betraying none of his heartbreak.

“Mom, Dad, You know I love you and I have always been proud to be your son. You both made sure that I was kept as far away from the family secrets and problems and made it the most normal childhood a kid like me could have and I thank you for it. Know that I have done everything I possibly could to survive.” He gasped fighting for breath.

“Is that all Spencer?” Garcia asked hesitantly listening to the coughing that wracked the young genius.

“No, no. If you don’t mind just one more to Thomas and Harry. Give it to my dad he’ll know what to do with it.” Spencer said.

“Sure. Go on.” Garcia said.

Behind her Hotch tensed wondering who Thomas and Harry were, his heart breaking to hear the sound of Spencer’s suffering.

“Thomas, you are the best cousin a man could hope for, I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for your help these past couple of years. Thank you. In the spirit of giving back….Justine loves you and you know you love her so don’t waste time. Try to make it work. Harry, I’m so glad we became friends over the past year. You’ve been a great help. You have no idea how much it has helped to be around you these past few months. So thank you and take care of my idiot cousin will you? He really needs a keeper.” Spencer gasped a laugh which quickly changed into a coughing fit.

He hung up with a quick thank you to Garcia so she couldn’t talk him out of staying to look for the cure. Hotch couldn’t help the stab of jealousy when he heard the message that Spencer left for Harry but it quickly turned to concern for his love when he heard the coughing. He desperately wanted to be in there with his love and hold on to him and comfort him in his pain but he had to concentrate on the case and the millions who would die if they didn’t find the unsub.

Spencer redoubled his efforts to find the cure or some clue as to the identity of the unsub or his intended target. In the end it was Dr. Kimura who found it hidden in the inhaler just as Spencer collapsed in front of her. She quickly managed to get him scrubbed down and in the ambulance to be stabilized so he could be treated once the cure was verified.

Hearing that Spencer had collapsed hit the team like a blow to the heart as everyone had a soft spot for the young genius but it hurt Hotch the most and the only thing he wanted more than to rush to the hospital was to pound the unsub into dust for what he had done to Spencer. He barely managed to control his anger and need for revenge when he arrested Chad Brown at the station. The only thing that stopped him was the thought that Spencer would be disappointed in him if he ever heard of it.

It was with great relief that they heard that the cure had been administered and Spencer was improving rapidly, for as fast as it had attacked his system it was leaving just as fast. Hotch made a quick visit to see Spencer while he was still unconscious breaking down and kissing the younger man even as he slept, needing that added reassurance that his love was whole and alive.

It brought home to him just how hopeless it was to date Beth or anyone else when he had given Spencer his whole heart and so he gently broke it off with the woman who didn’t seem that surprised by it and they parted amicably.

Foyet

        As soon as Aaron got the call from Boston to visit the dying Detective Shaunessy, he knew it couldn’t be good but it was worse than he could have ever imagined. It took several more deaths and The Reaper calling to try and make the same deal again this time with Hotch before they were able to figure it out and catch Foyet only for the man to escape from prison. Aaron couldn’t help blame himself for the people who had died in the bus after he had refused the deal. Spencer could see how much it was tearing his love apart and he was glad that Rossi stepped in to talk Hotch through it.

        In the end, the Marshalls couldn’t find him and other more pressing cases came up to keep the team busy but Spencer had a bad feeling about him so he kept working on the case by himself whenever he had some spare time. He had a feeling that Aaron did as well but they were still no closer to finding the man.

        The night after they returned from Canada, Spencer was beyond tired in mind and spirit and even his Hunger seemed subdued for a change but he still couldn’t get over his feeling of unease and he could not pinpoint the source. The only thing he knew was that he had to stay close to Aaron, so he followed the man home from the office and waited till he saw the light come on in his apartment. He was just berating himself for being paranoid and preparing to leave when he heard a muffled gunshot going off and felt an echo of pain in his head. He had never felt pain from someone he had fed off before but he supposed that repeated feedings from Aaron was what had solidified their bond and allowed him to know what the older man was feeling.

        Before he even knew what he was doing, he was out of his car and sprinting up the stairs to Hotch’s apartment. He broke down the door in a burst of adrenaline only to find Foyet crouched over Aaron, slapping his face and trying to wake him. There was a spatter of blood on the side of Aaron’s face, red and wet, but Spencer could feel that the man was still alive, just unconscious.

        At the sight of Aaron so vulnerable to a psychopath like Foyet, a red haze descended over Spencer, clouding his vision and nearly deafening in the pounding of his ears, and  then before Foyet could even stand up Spencer was on him. He grabbed his wrist and twisted the arm holding the gun behind his back, wrenching it painfully till it was nearly dislocated.

“You dare touch what is mine. Miserable human filth. I am going to take everything away from you for that.” Spencer practically growled as he jerked on his arm even harder causing it to dislocate at the shoulder with a sickening pop.

Foyet howled in pain and anger trying to take a swing at Spencer with his other hand but Spencer just chuckled darkly and caught it easily.  He then did the same to the other arm, smirking at the squishing sound of the separated joint.

“Impotent sonofabitch. Not so tough now are you? Without a gun or a knife? Can’t even take on lil’ol’me?” Spencer taunted the injured man.

Both arms now useless and in more pain than he had experienced in a while, Foyet sank to his knees, his teeth bared in a grimace, mind racing, trying to figure out how to get the better of the young profiler when Spencer simply grabbed his head in his hands and twisted in a quick smooth motion, snapping his neck and  watching as the body slumped to the floor.

Once Foyet was dead, Spencer stood panting over the body as the rage that had been fueling him through the fight with Foyet slowly, painfully subsided. As his mind cleared, he realized the need to cover up exactly how Foyet had died and so, with distaste, he grabbed the body by the scruff and hauled it to the balcony off Hotch’s living room and tossed it over into the street.

He then rushed back into the living room to check on Aaron, pulling out his phone to call 911 as he went. He had just succeeded in rousing Hotch when the paramedics arrived closely followed by the rest of the team.

The cops and crime scene techs took over and collected the forensic evidence at the scene and they asked a few questions but for the most part they accepted his story of having followed Hotch home to talk after the horror of their previous case and hearing the gunshot. It was a little harder sell that he had broken down the door and killed Foyet by himself given his slight build but he just lied and said that the adrenaline had kicked in and he had rushed Foyet forcing him over the balcony railing, falling to his death.

Nobody including the team were inclined to ask too many questions as Foyet was a known serial killer who had attacked one of their own in his own house. The paramedics were able to clear Hotch as only having a mild concussion and not really needing a hospital stay as long as he had someone stay with him.

Unwilling to be parted from his love again so soon, Spencer offered his place for Hotch to stay while his apartment was being processed and Hotch agreed as he felt the need to be near Spencer as well after his ordeal.

The drive to Spencer’s apartment was made in silence, each man lost in their own thoughts. Neither of them knew what to say in the situation but they both desperately wanted to cling to each other and never let go.

Once they got to Spencer’s place, Aaron moved around with the ease of familiarity dropping his keys in the bowl next to the door with Spencer’s keys, kicking off his shoes and carrying his go bag into the living room where he sank on to the couch tiredly, his head falling against the back.

“You can have the shower first if you want,” Spencer offered softly as he followed the older man into the living room, sinking down into the couch next to him.

Hotch moved his head to look at the younger man and was struck by how close he was sitting. They had not been this close or so much as alone together in months and he had missed it desperately.

The two men stared at each other for several long moments before Spencer reached out a hand to gently trace the butterfly bandages the EMT had put on Hotch’s temple. Hotch didn’t dare move, he barely dared to breathe for fear that he might scare the younger man away. Slowly, oh so slowly, Spencer leaned forward and brushed his lips gently over the older man’s slightly chapped lips causing Hotch’s breath to catch. The young genius repeated the motion several times before finally licking at the seam of the lips beneath his own, begging for entrance.

With languorous movements he encouraged Hotch to open his mouth before using his tongue to map the contours of the older man’s mouth, tasting and teasing. Hotch had never been kissed so gently, so thoroughly before in his life. He was being kissed like he was the most precious, fragile thing in the world and it took his breath away and made him desperate with need.

Aaron brought his own hands up to sink into the younger man’s tousled curls, moaning into the kiss and deepening it even further as he moved to straddle the genius’ slim thighs. They kissed like that for several minutes both content to just kiss and explore each other without taking it further despite the fact that they had both been growing hard from the moment Spencer pressed their lips together.

Gently, Spencer’s hands moved to explore the dips and lines in Aaron’s face and down his neck till he came to the open collar of his shirt. He slipped his fingers between the layers of cotton and freed the buttons one at a time in excruciating slowness without ever breaking the kiss, finally pushing the shirt off the broad shoulders, humming into the kiss at the feel of warm skin under his fingers.

Aaron moaned into the kiss as Spencer continued to explore the planes of his chest and abdomen, gently and carefully mapping out every muscle and valley, only pausing to scratch softly at the already pebbled nipples.

Finally Spencer broke the kiss so he could trace the same path down Aaron’s body as his hands had done with his lips and tongue, his hands dipping below the waistband of Hotch’s pants to cup and stroke his needy cock through his boxers. Aaron let out an almost broken cry and bucked up into the hand stroking him just as Spencer’s lips reached the older man’s nipples and he bit down sharply on them in turn, creating a perfect balance of pleasure-pain that was driving Aaron mad.

“Spencer….please….just…please…” He begged not even knowing what he was asking for.

Smiling fondly with all the love he felt for the older man shining in his eyes, Spencer dipped his head for another kiss as he rid his love of the rest of his clothes until Hotch sat there completely bare to his lover’s eyes.

“Your turn.” Hotch gasped barely able to believe the love he could see in Spencer’s eyes.

Spencer stood up and quickly divested himself of all his clothes till he was just as naked as his love.  The sight of Spencer’s cock standing erect and proud, so close to his face was too much for Hotch and he bent forward and lapped at the tip, dipping in to taste his love, a taste he had sorely missed over the past few months. He found he couldn’t get enough, moving further forward still to envelope him completely in his mouth. Sucking and licking with gusto, he just couldn’t get enough of the unique taste of his love even as Spencer began to moan and buck into his mouth, his hands buried in the short dark strands of his lover’s hair.

Aaron encouraged him to thrust into his willing mouth until Spencer’s hips were moving erratically and he was coming into the older man’s throat with a cry of his name on his lips. Aaron swallowed it all down before pulling off and continuing to nuzzle at the spent cock.

“Aaron. Love, you are so beautiful. Have I ever told you that?” Spencer asked, stroking his hair gently before dipping his head to kiss and lick the taste of himself out of Aaron’s mouth.

Aaron moaned into the kiss, the combination of his and Spencer’s taste mingling in his mouth was almost too much for him and it caused his already aching cock to harden more. Spencer took Aaron’s hand in his and tugged him gently towards the bedroom where he pushed the older man onto the bed and straddled his toned thighs, continuing to kiss him breathless.

Spencer’s own cock was starting to rise and fill again with their kisses and the feel of Aaron’s cock brushing against his own. He reached for the lube on the nightstand and prepared himself as quickly as he could before coating the remaining lube on Aaron’s cock. Aaron gasped at the feel of Spencer’s needy hole at the tip of his aching penis. With excruciating slowness, Spencer slid down the older man’s cock until Aaron was balls deep inside him making both men gasp at the feeling. He took a minute to adjust to the feel of his love inside him and Aaron was grateful for the respite as he was too close to coming from just the feel of Spencer tight around his cock.

The young genius set up a delicious, languorous pace, driving both of them mad with need until he could bear it no more. Aaron flipped them over, changing positions and thrusting into Spencer at a punishing pace causing them both to climax as one with each other’s names on their lips.

Afterward they lay panting together, Aaron slumped on top of Spencer until he softened completely and slipped out of his love. Spencer’s arms held him in place not allowing him to move and that as much as the gentleness Spencer had displayed throughout their lovemaking, it could not be called anything else, warmed Aaron’s heart immeasurably and he placed a small kiss on Spencer’s lips and buried his face in the other man’s hair.

After a while they got uncomfortable with the semen sticking and itching between them so they got up and showered together. They dressed in sleep clothes as Spencer insisted on it and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

An hour later Spencer was awoken by a burning sensation against his lips and woke up to find that Aaron’s hair which was touching his lips was burning him. Heartbroken with the evidence of their love on his burnt lips, Spencer carefully slipped out of bed.

He had proof, definite proof that Aaron loved him just as completely as he did and it broke his heart. The young genius knew that he could not stay. He couldn’t work in the BAU when even the smallest touch from Aaron would burn him. So he began to pack as quietly as he could, tears running down his face and only the shards of his broken heart left in his chest.

When he had packed up everything he would need, he wrote a note to Aaron unwilling to leave the man without an explanation even if he knew that the explanation would bring more questions than answers and left it on the kitchen counter where the other man wouldn’t miss it in the morning. Then he left, shutting the door as silently as possible behind him.

 

One Comment

  1. Great chapter. Lovely and heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing.

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