Unspoken – Part 1 – desertpoet

Content Rating:
  • PG-13
  • Addiction
  • Death-Minor Character
  • Discussion-Murder
  • Drug Use
  • Homophobia
  • Violence-Canon-Level
  • Fix It
  • Romance
  • Slash
Sherlock/John, John/Mary

Word Count:

Author's Note:
This is my second attempt at a beginning. Still not happy with it, but it's closer to what I wanted and I'm moving forward.

Sherlock Holmes has always enjoyed his solitude. He never needed anyone in his life, until John Watson walked in and changed everything. Now John is preparing to leave, and Sherlock will be alone once again. Will he find the courage to speak up before it’s too late?

Sherlock Holmes left Irene and took a cab back to his room at 221 B Baker Street. Once he had hoped he could love Irene. He was going to fall in love with a woman; surely it would be Irene Adler, but it was not meant to be. Blackwood had gotten the end he deserved and Lestrade would see to his body.

His thoughts filled with Professor Moriarty. He knew the man was somehow behind Blackwood’s schemes, as smart as Sherlock himself but infinitely more devious Irene had said. Sherlock wasn’t sure he believed it, but one thing was certain anyone who scared Irene the way Moriarty did was not to be trifled with.

Sherlock felt the rush of excitement he always got from a new case; it could be that Moriarty would turn out to be a very interesting problem for Sherlock to solve. He bounced a little at the thought. He had to go home and tell John. They would need to plan their next steps.

Except that John was leaving in two days. Going to a new life without Sherlock. He stopped in his tracks for a moment as his stomach twisted. John was determined to leave him, and Sherlock knew he had to let him go. John deserved the normal life he so craved.

Sherlock arrived home and rushed up the stairs. He ignored Mrs. Hudson when she called his name. He rushed up the stairs and into his study. He stopped abruptly when he realized that Mary Morstan was sitting in Watson’s chair and petting Gladstone.

Sherlock hated seeing her there.

He told himself to be pleasant. He smiled widely as Mary stood. “Miss. Morstan, it is such a pleasure to see you. I don’t believe John is here at the moment. I believe he’s making some arrangements for his move, but he should be back soon. I’m sure he’d like it if you waited for him.

Sherlock looked at Miss Morstan for clues as he spoke. She looked tired but definite. Still, Sherlock could tell she was nervous and that she hadn’t been sleeping well. Her eyes were also red like she’d been crying clearly something was wrong. Just as clearly, Mary Morstan was determined to have a conversation with him.

Sherlock stifled the urge to sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted. He did not want to deal with Ms. Morstan.

“I’m here to see you, Mr. Holmes.”

“Mrs. Hudson!” he yelled. “Please bring us some more tea!” He wished he could have something stronger. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

He took her hand courtesy and then gestured toward the chair. “It’s clear you’d like to speak to me. Won’t you have a seat?”

She sat but she looked at him intently. She squared her shoulders. “Mr. Holmes, I’ve come to speak to you about a matter most important to both of us. I ask that you listen to me because I believe you hold the key to my happiness in your hands.”

Sherlock wasn’t interested in whatever she had to say. John had chosen her. She’d already won. Had she come to gloat?

“Miss Morstan,” he started.

She cut him off. “You will do me the courtesy of listening to me.”

Sherlock sighed, but he nodded and sat down.

Just then, Mrs. Hudson entered with the tea and some lemon cake. She took her time setting it up looking nervously between Mary and Sherlock. Sherlock wished he could add whiskey to his, but he refrained.

“Do be on your best behavior, Mr. Holmes.” She called out as she left. Sherlock glared at her back, and Mary chuckled. Once she was gone, Sherlock gave his visitor his best smile. “Very well, Miss, Morstan, you have my undivided attention.”

Mary took a sip of her tea. “Oh, you might as well call me Mary. I think we’re past the formalities, don’t you?”

“Very well, Mary. I’m Sherlock then. Pray continue.

“I’m here because I know that John means a lot to both of us. I love him with all my heart. I know you think I’m not good enough for him, but I know I can make him happy. She looked at him, defiantly before continuing. “However, you are important to him, and I know he can’t be happy without you in his life.”

Sherlock leaned back in his chair. “As we are being honest, I am going to be frank. I think you can make him happy to an extent. John cares for you. He was most upset when he realized I was trying to come between you. I admit I was unkind.”

Mary smiled, “You were. You were jealous. I didn’t understand at first why you were so g=cruel to me, but I do now.”

Sherlock ignored the bit about Jealousy. He never allowed his emotions to get the better of him. “John thinks he wants a normal sedate life, but I think we both know better. He will grow bored. He was withering away before we met. He thrives on danger. No matter how much he complains about my exploits. We both know he enjoys them.”

Mary sighed and looked down at her hands. “Yes, I know you’re right. He’s happiest when running around the city with you getting blown up. He insists he will not be going on cases with you, but I think we know that won’t last. I tried to talk to him about this, but he refused to hear me. I want a life with John, but I don’t want him to be unhappy.”

He wasn’t so sure. John was adamant that the Blackwood case had been their last. Still, Sherlock nodded. “Are you saying that you’d be happy if John would continue to work on cases with me?”

Mary looked away. “If only it were that simple. I could accept that. Oh, I wouldn’t be happy knowing he was in danger so much of the time. But I’d learn to live it for his sake. I’d invite you over for dinner regularly and listen to all the tales of your exploits, but we both know there is much more to this Don’t we?”

Sherlock looked up at Mary. He felt as though he were seeing her for the first time. She’d surprised him yet again. It was becoming a habit with her. A habit Sherlock found quite intriguing,

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean,” Sherlock said. He stood up and began pacing the room.

“I think you do Sherlock. I’ve watched the two of you together. I think that you love John and not in a brotherly way. You’re in love him,” She said bluntly. “I recognize the signs you see.” She gave a little shrug.

Sherlock stopped and whirled around to face Mary. She was infuriating and extraordinary. He was beginning to understand what John saw in her. ‘I assure you, Mary. I am incapable of such sentiments. Even if what you were proposing were not illegal, I am certain that neither John nor I would ever engage in the type of activity which you are suggesting.”

Mary chuckled. “Come now, Sherlock. I’d prefer that you continue to be honest with me. I’m not so innocent as you seem to think. I had a favorite uncle. He was a confirmed bachelor, but he had a man of affairs that lived in his home, and they spent a great deal of time together. They died within months of each other. I knew them both well. So, I recognize the signs.”

Sherlock could only stare at her. Finally, he sighed and sat down. “You astound me, Mary. Something very few people can do. Even if you are correct about one or both of us. I think we both know John will never engage in such activity. He cannot spend his life in such an immoral pursuit as sodomy. He wants a respectable and normal life too much.”

Mary did not flinch at the mention of sodomy as Sherlock had intended instead finished her tea. She stood and walked over to Gladstone, petting him gently. She didn’t look at Sherlock when she spoke. “I think you might be surprised. John cares for me, and I think he will grow to love me with time, but I think he loves you already. John and I are not officially engaged yet. You should talk to him as soon as possible. You know how honorable John is. Once he is committed to me. He will not cast me aside.”

You could walk away, Sherlock thought. But he didn’t speak the thought aloud. He understood why Mary could not do so. Their eyes met. Sherlock took a deep breath. “Let’s say I do as you suggest, and John turns for me in disgust. What then? I need John in my life. Even if only for the occasional night out. I can’t lose him entirely.”

Mary stood and walked over to him. Sherlock stood as well. “I’ll leave the decision up to you, but I know John would never turn his back on you. Not permanently. You mean too much to him. He won’t come to you though if that’s what you’re hoping for. You must make the first move.

“All I ask is that you consider what I’ve said. Talk to John. I want his happiness, above all else. If he chooses you, then I will step aside. I couldn’t be happy either always wondering if he regrets not staying with you.” She turned and left the room. Leaving Sherlock staring after her. His thoughts in disarray.

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About desertpoet

I'm an avid reader and I've always wanted to write. I finally decided to give it a try. I am a proud minion. You can also find me on ao3 and Wild Hare under the same name.


  1. Great start.

  2. Wow. That was certainly an unexpected conversation. Cool. Thank you for your twisty brain.

  3. Awesome start!!

  4. This is a fantastic start!

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