Life Changing – 2 – DarkJediQueen

Reading Time:
47 Minutes

Ilya checked on the food that they were doing for dinner. He had ordered in some things that he knew that Marly and Sveta would like for the meal. They were on their way over, but it would take them a while, as Cliff was going to need to be picked up since his car was in the shop after an idiot hit it. So Sveta was going to get him once she got ready.

Shane was finishing up a feeding of Nika, and then they would be calling Yuna Hollander. David was working at Ilya’s laptop on a few things that he could help with when it came to getting Nika the citizenship papers going for her in Canada. There was so much going on that they were taking what they could. The little time they had gotten together had been good. Their relationship was taking a backseat to what they needed to do for Nika. Ilya knew that it would come to a head at some point, but right now they were in protection mode.

Ilya already had a plan in place. They were losing a few guys on the roster to retirement. The Raiders were playing a faster game with Ilya at the helm, and things were not going well for the other guys, and they just wanted to leave. Shane was at a good place in Montreal at the moment, but Ilya knew that if he made a comment, Coach would jump at the chance to get his hands on Shane as a player. A comment was made where the coach could hear, then more things were said to other players. There were ways around things, and then in the off-season, they could approach Montreal. Shane’s no-move contract wasn’t in place yet; it wasn’t in the contract, but he wasn’t old enough yet to trigger it. Ilya’s current contract ran out before that.

They were trading off feeding between the two of them, and in a little while, Ilya was going to be the one with Nika on his chest and cuddling. He loved her already. He had never thought that he would fall in love with a child so much. It wasn’t even the parts of Shane that he could see in her face now that he was paying attention to that. No, it was also that she was his. He was going to make sure that he was a better father to her than his father ever was to her. He was also going to see someone for his depression because he knew that with a child he could have no off days. He hadn’t brought that up to Shane yet. Svetlana knew of his depression, and she checked in, but she kept back because if she pushed too hard, he would stop talking to her. It was under control right now but not enough to have a child in his life. He couldn’t stay in bed all day with her on the days off. There was more than one thing going on so that Ilya knew that he had to get himself under control.

The birth certificate was filled out now with the middle name of May picked out. Veronika May Hollander-Rozanov sounded like a good, strong name, and if she grew up and hated her middle name, they could change it. Hell, even her first name if she hated it. Ilya hoped that she did not. He thought her name was beautiful, a name picked out and loved by both of her fathers.

“Ilya?” Shane asked as he came into the kitchen with the bottle. Veronika was already settled down into where she was sleeping at the moment. Tonight, she would be in bed with them, pillows keeping them from rolling over on her, and then David was going to go shopping in the morning for things. They decided that getting it delivered was crazy. They had enough stuff in the bag they were given with her last few days, and that was going to be enough until the shopping was done. Ilya was going to send David with his credit card that he had, and then they would split the cost of items even though they both had more than enough money to buy what they needed. The need to be even on this was something that was driving both of them. Soon, things would be up in the air on who was going to keep her most of the time and what was going to happen exactly with it.

“Here,” Ilya said.

Shane locked onto him and went right to him. Ilya wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but he got his arms open, and Shane just fell into him. He smelled like her, the soft smell that she had that Ilya loved. It was something that he had found that he was going to miss when she was out of his life for even just a few hours. Like in the afternoon when they had a game. There was a lot of shit that he was going to have to get used to.

“Are you good?” Shane asked.

“As good as can be. I’m still looking, and I think that it’s best she be here.”

“I know. Believe me. I know. As much as Canada is forward with a lot of things, protections for things like this are not as good. We can register her privately here with the birth certificate and make sure that she can’t be found to have my name. Then we will get the rest of the plan in place. We need to figure out what is going to happen when that happens. Fuck.”

“When do you want to call your mother?” Ilya asked. He was worried about Yuna Hollander’s reaction to this. To everything.

David had taken it in stride, and he had been quiet, not asking a lot of questions, and Ilya wasn’t sure that was normal for the man or just something that he was doing because he was freaked out.

“You just have to ask the hard questions, don’t you?”

Ilya laughed because it was what Shane was going for, and he knew it. Ilya started to rub his hand up and down Shane’s back. It had helped Ilya feel better earlier, and he was happy to do it back. The easy affection should have felt wrong, but it didn’t. It didn’t feel wrong at all. It felt right; it felt normal. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but he felt like as long as they were together, things would be fine.

“You good?” Shane asked.

“As I can be. Call your mother.”

Shane made a noise that Ilya had never heard from him before, and he wanted to hear it again. He poked Shane in the side, and he did it again; it was like a raspberry, but something else was going with it.

After another moment, Shane unwrapped himself from Ilya and headed to the island. He sat down and put his phone on the counter. Ilya sat down beside him, and he waited to see what Shane wanted. Shane moved closer first, so Ilya moved the rest of the way over to kind of box him in from the side. Shane dialed a number without going to the contact. Ilya figured it was a way of delaying what he was doing.

“Shane, your father said that he had something he needed to take care of, and now he’s ignoring me beyond telling me that he’s alive. Do you know what is going on?” Yuna asked instead of saying hello to her son.

Ilya smiled at that. She sounded worried.

“Sorry, I had him come to me in Boston.”

“To you. In Boson. Why?”

“I…” Shane trailed off, and he looked at Ilya. “I’m here with my…fuck.”

“Shane, are you okay?”

“Mentally? No. I’m nowhere near okay. I’m fucking scared, and then the universe just decided to drop a fucking baby in our lap, and we are not sure what the fuck to do. We think that we have the path laid out to make sure that we are not linked as her father together. Veronika May is her name.”

“And her last name?”

“Hollander-Rozanov,” Ilya said when Shane waved one of his hands before using it again to prop his head on.

“I see. Okay. That’s…let your father know that he can talk to me. I’ll get there in the morning. I’ll wait to make sure that I can get a good flight and a good night’s sleep. You don’t need to worry about getting me to the apartment.”

“House,” Ilya said.

“Ilya has a car service he uses that he trusts. They will come and get you. You can use one of his cars.”

“I have a sensible one, still a sports car but more family because I needed space for a few hockey players,” Ilya said.

“I want a picture,” Yuna said.

“Dad took one of us earlier, all three of us. Just make sure that it’s safe. That no one…and then I have one of her when she was asleep that is adorable.”

“Shane, I’m sorry that you could never tell me that you were into men.”

“Gay, I’m gay,” Shane said.

Ilya knew that it had been something that Shane had been working on over the course of the day, because in his eyes, he wasn’t able to be a good father unless he finally accepted that. Ilya felt for him. He knew what this sport was like to Shane. Ilya had issues with those who didn’t like Russia, and it was fine to deal with because their words just rolled off his back. Shane got more than that. He had heard a little bit from Marly what kind of shit he heard coming up in hockey about the few other kids of color who played just a tenth of the way that Shane played. Ilya had heard things at other games that were said to his players who were white. The racism in the sport went hand in hand with those who didn’t like men who liked men.”

“Thank you for telling me, Shane. Thank you. I am on speaker?”

“Da,” Ilya said when Shane said nothing.

“Okay. And David isn’t around?”

“No,” Shane said, his voice cracking on that word, and Ilya gave up all pretense of anything. He slipped off his stool, and he grabbed the phone and set it on the stool, and then he got himself and Shane down on the floor again, with Shane in his lap, his arm around him. Then he grabbed his phone again.

“Sorry, Mrs. Hollander, I was moving us down to where I could hold Shane.” Ilya rubbed his hand up and down Shane’s back, and he held the phone in the other hand. Shane was not really doing anything but breathing, but he felt the tension leaving Shane’s body as he lay there in Ilya’s lap.

“That’s okay. I know my son. I know why he called his father to get there first. I understand. I assume you are at your house?” Yuna asked.

“Yes, we are here. It’s safe here. Very, very safe here. I have him and I’ll protect him. My two friends are coming to dinner soon: Marleau and my friend from Russia.”

“Is your friend from Russia safe?”

“She knows about me. She has known about me for a long time. I also suspect that she suspects that the codename I use for Shane on my phone isn’t a woman like the name suggests it should be.” Ilya would trust Sveta with his life, and he knew that the Hollanders just needed to get used to her.

“I see. And Hayden?”

Shane doesn’t want to tell him right now. I am trusting him on that one. I am not pushing.”

Shane made a noise and turned his head to breathe in the scent from the skin of Ilya’s neck. Ilya smiled, and he squeezed him a little with the arm that was wrapped around him to rub his back.

“You good?” Ilya asked softly.

“Yeah, I just got overwhelmed.”

“You do that sometimes when it’s personal things. It’s okay. As long as we still beat each other in hockey for the rest of our lives, I will gladly take all of the personal breakdowns.”

“I love you,” Shane said.

Ilya froze because he had realized that he felt something like it for him. He didn’t think that this was the best time for those words to come out of his mouth. Yet, he would never leave Shane hanging like that.

“I love you too,” Ilya said.

“I’ll call my husband and text him that if he doesn’t answer. I’m coming to the house where he’s at, and I’m going to raise holy hell.”

The line went dead. Shane was tense again.

“You mean it?” Shane asked.

“I do. Fuck, I do. I’ve tried to tell myself that I don’t, but I do. I fucking do, and it scares me.”

“It scares me to death, and it felt like dying inside earlier.”

“Why did you run?” Ilya asked. He got his hand under Shane’s shirt, and he found skin, just pressing his hand to skin.

“I was scared that what I felt was never going to be returned. You were talking about the women you fucked before that, and I just…I wanted to deny that I felt anything for you because I thought it was never going to be.”

“I was afraid to run you off with my feelings.” Ilya closed his eyes, and they just lay there and breathed.

The love wasn’t the scary part anymore. The future with their daughter was the scary part. It was fucking scary, and Ilya didn’t know what to do with it. They would tackle it together, and it seemed that with everyone who they were going to pull around them, they would make sure they were safe.

Now, Ilya had to do his part and find someone to make sure that he wasn’t going to fuck up his daughter’s life with his depression.

—

Shane sat down on the couch, waiting to hear what he hoped was going to be a good conversation between Marleau, Svetlana, and Ilya. They were arriving now, and Shane felt like a bundle of nerves. He and his father were staying hidden while Ilya had Nika in the kitchen with him. It seemed that the kitchen was the point of the worst or maybe best conversations in this house.

“Roz, whose baby did you steal?” Marly asked just seconds after Shane heard the front door shut.

“I did not steal.”

“No, he did not. That is the basket of a wish baby. Where is Jane?” a woman asked.

Shane assumed that was Svetlana. He looked at his father, and his father was smiling to himself as he worked on something on his phone. Shane knew that things were going to be different because of this. He wasn’t just a son anymore; he was a father. He was a boyfriend or partner. They hadn’t picked the word they were going to use. He felt like shit for this. For whatever they were going through. It was the kind of crazy that Shane had tried to escape all of his life. He liked this life ordered, but maybe this was just the kind of thing that he needed.

“Jane is in the living room. Jane is not his name,” Ilya said.

There was a hum from Svetlana but nothing from Marly. Shane gripped his thigh, hard. He didn’t know what to expect from that.

“I wondered,” Marly said finally.

“Why?” Ilya asked.

“You don’t look at men often, but you sometimes would. I don’t think anyone else has caught it. You never look on the ice or anywhere like that. Just the bars and clubs that we go to. Then there is the fact that I’m pretty sure that I saw abs once before you deleted the picture in the thread. Those were not the abs and tits of a woman.”

“You have seen part of this Jane?” Svetlana asked.

“Oh, I think that Marly has seen more of my Jane than he thinks he has seen.”

“Roz, cut the shit. Jane! Come on, man. Jane!”

Shane stayed where he was.

“I am Lily in his phone. He is Jane in my phone. From what he said, I am Boston Lily to his team.”

“Yeah, just like he’s…” Marly trailed off. There was the sound of footsteps, but they didn’t get closer to where Shane was; no, they were closer to where he knew that Ilya was. “Montreal Jane. Fucking Shane Hollander?”

Shane took that as his cue. He stood up and walked around the side of the wall that would take him to where Ilya was, where there was a beautiful woman looking right at him with a smile on her face, and then Marly was standing right there, just a few feet in front of Ilya. Ilya had Nika in his arms. She wasn’t awake, but it looked like she had been. The new voices probably had pulled her from sleep. Shane walked up behind Ilya, and he laid a hand on his lower back, a claim that was not lost on Svetlana.

“Shane, these are my two best friends. You know Marly already, but this is Svetlana Vetrova. She is very, very happy to meet you.”

“Ilyusha, you are keeping many secrets. When I am sitting there lusting over him on the TV, you never once say that you can get me invited to his bed.”

Shane swallowed, and he looked at the floor. “You are beautiful, but you don’t exactly have the parts that I like.”

“I see. You are not like Ilya then?”

“No, I am not. I just like guys.”

“Pity. A face like yours would look good in bed.”

Shane laughed, and he heard her getting closer, so he looked up at her. She touched Ilya’s face, and then she wrapped Shane in a hug. He felt like he could do nothing but hug her back, stepping to where he could. She gave good hugs, and it was a time when Shane would have freaked out with someone touching him who he didn’t know that well. So he just stayed like he was and waited for her to want to end it.

Then he was swept up in Marly’s hold. He had gotten a few hugs from him before on the ice, with pads and more clothing between them. The few times had been weird on the ice, but things happened in games that made the hugs something that the fans wanted to see. Shane had even hugged him once when he had gotten his first career hat trick. There had been nothing else that he could do but accept this hug. He was glad when he was let go.

“My father is in the other room. He’s helping. My mom’s going to get on a flight at five, and then she will be here as well to help us with trying to keep this quiet.”

“Yeah, the league will probably have a lot of issues with it. The rest of the team is like half and half.

“My team is…” Shane knew that his team were good players and most of them were decent enough human beings, but there was a lot of homophobia. He knew that this wasn’t going to go over well with them at all. He would have to endure a lot of shit. If this was close to breaking in the news, Shane knew that he was going to have to figure out a different team to go to. He knew that they were going to need so many plans.

“The most homophobic team in the league, just behind Toronto?” Svetlana asked.

“Yeah, that.” Shane knew that Toronto looked worse just because of Kent, but he was pretty sure the Metros were worse on average because taking out Kent meant that Toronto barely looked it.

“So, are you moving teams to make sure that this doesn’t happen?”

“I am not sure what could happen with that. I don’t have a clause in place at all in my contract; they could send me elsewhere.”

“Your mother has a smart head on her shoulders. I’m sure that she will figure something out. Teams will sometimes make sure that their players are taken care of if there is something going on in their personal lives,” Svetlana said.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping.”

“Food smells good,” Marly said when the room was silent for slightly longer than what a normal silence should last.

“It’s about half an hour from done. I have salmon for Shane that I’ll need to cook, or he will, depending on what point Nika is in her sleep.”

“Nika?” Svetlana asked. She stepped closer to Ilya and rubbed her hand up and down Nika’s back. “Veronika?”

“Da, Veronika May Hollander-Rozanov,” Ilya said.

“Beautiful. I will go and introduce myself to Mr. Hollander, and we will talk about the things we are going to buy for her tomorrow.

Shane raised his eyebrow at the statement, but Svetlana said nothing and just headed for the living room.

“She’s a hoot, huh?” Marly asked.

“Yeah,” Shane said. He had expected to feel jealous or something like it when it came to her, but there was nothing. He knew that Ilya was his, and that was all that mattered. It was strange to not feel that jealous when he had felt it when it came to seeing her in the tabloids with him and other women. He trusted Ilya, but that didn’t mean that jealousy wasn’t going to pop up.

“So, Hollander…Shane?” Marly asked.

“Shane is fine, or a nickname if you feel like you don’t want to get comfortable using Shane.”

“Nah, Shane is fine. I like Cliff or Marly.”

“Marly,” Shane said.

“So, since rookie year?”

“Before,” Ilya said.

“Before?” Marly looked shocked as hell about that.

“The first spark was there on draft day. And then with the commercial, we hooked up the first time. Before today, that was all this was.”

“Dude,” Marly said. He looked at the two of them, shocked as hell.

Shane knew that feeling. It was a crazy fucking point.

“So, not many people talk about it, but that’s not out there,” Marly said.

“Speak English, not riddles, Marly,” Ilya said.

“Let’s sit down. Um, I want a couch, not a stool.”

They headed for the living room and found that David and Svetlana were sitting on part of the couch together, heads over the paper list of things as well as the laptop. They were deep into whatever they were discussing. Shane sat down, and Ilya sat beside him, pulling Shane to rest against him, like he had done before, which had ended up with how they got here to begin with. It felt like so fucking long ago and had only been hours.

“So my aunt and uncle on my father’s side were breaking up. They were in the middle of the fight because my uncle wasn’t good at getting words out and my aunt was pushy as hell. My aunt was storming out of the house about ten years ago, and then before she could get to her car, a wish baby appeared on the ground in front of her. Just no real noise, just bam. There it was. So they looked into it, and it’s something that happens when mistakes are about to be made when it comes to people who are in love but being idiots. There is a big push about the wish babies going to those who wish for a baby with their whole heart, and they will have the love needed to take care of them, but there is also a small amount that goes out because for like one point in time, a baby will fix all of their mistakes.”

“I have never heard this,” Shane said.

“I have,” David said.

Shane turned to look at his father, and he just stared at him.

“It’s how I was brought to my parents,” David said.

Shane knew that his father was a wish baby, the only child that could be had between his paternal grandparents. He had learned that at a young age. He hadn’t cared about it. His mother had been an only child as well, so there were no real cousins in his life, just friends who had kids around the same age, and Shane and they called each other cousins.

“They were about to divorce, not because of fertility issues, but my father refused to open up to her about other things. She wanted out. They died happy in bed together. Well, I think that my father died first of a heart attack, and she woke up, found him dead, and died of a broken heart, but the medical examiner said that they died at the same time with no foul play.”

Shane had heard that before. He knew that many found his father crazy for what he thought happened, but right now, Shane thought about how if Nika were older and happy, he would follow Ilya to the grave, and the thought was sobering. He was deeper than he thought in love with Ilya Rozanov.

Ilya handed the sleeping Nika over to Shane, and he smiled at him before helping him get her settled on his chest. As soon as she was in his arms, Shane calmed down a lot on the freak-out that was about to happen because he realized how in love he was with Ilya. They really needed to talk when they had time to do it, more than they got when they showered and had sex earlier.

Shane heard the voices around him, but he focused on Nika and knew that Ilya or his father would get his attention if he were needed for the conversation. There was no reason for him to do anything more than what he was doing right, which was holding his daughter. She was going to be so fucking loved. Shane had felt that love from both of his parents all of his childhood, and he wanted it for Nika. He knew that he would do it and so would Ilya.

The talk they had about Ilya’s childhood made Shane happy that Ilya was getting someone to love who loved him back just as much, not just him but their daughter. Shane was never going to do anything that made Ilya think that he didn’t love him. He was pretty sure that there were going to be a lot of hard times for them in the future, but he knew that they could figure out a way to get them hockey and their family, even if they had to hide and spend a lot of time on their phones. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen right now, but they could control things. They could.

—

Ilya was glad that he was good at going to sleep again after being woken up too many years on the road for games where there might be a kid next door who woke up and screamed or just hockey players who were not good at sneaking back into their hotel rooms after a night spent in someone else’s bed. He woke up when his alarm went off after a night of trading off feeding or just taking care of Nika when she woke up, which had him feeling at least a little human. Thankfully, Ilya had his phone on vibrate, and he turned it off to not wake up Nika or Shane.

Shane was there with him, his arm across the bed and holding onto Ilya’s hip, which was something that Ilya had only had for a day, and it was something that he wanted to keep for the rest of his life. They were going to have to make some changes to their life, but he wondered if Boston was the best place for them.

What was the worst of everything was that New York had the most protections for people like them. Couples who would face issues because of being together. It made it harder to think that they were going to be able to be safe in Boston. There were federal laws, but there were also local ones that made things a little iffy. The more they looked, the worse it got.

Shane was beautiful, like he was asleep but looking so comfortable.

Things were too easy right now, so Ilya was waiting for the other shoe to drop because it was going to. Ilya knew that he needed protections in place to make sure that he didn’t get shipped back to Russia because that would get him killed. The legal side of that made Ilya’s head hurt, but between Yuna and Svetlana, Ilya was sure that one of them would figure out how to make sure that he never had to go back to Russia. Ilya had already started to work on making sure that his niece was taken care of as well as the money for his father’s care because he didn’t want to have to deal with making sure that he was in contact with them. His new lawyer was someone who was more than willing to talk to his family. He had only found him a week ago, working on making sure that if things went south, he would not be caught up in the shit.

A soft coo had Ilya looking down at Nika. She was awake, just lying there enjoying being between them. She had her own little blanket from the bag that magic had given them. The items like that from the bag would be comforting to her as she got used to being alive. Wish babies were easier in some regards because of that, but they were also just so much work because of the fact that there was no prep for the baby beforehand.

“Morning,” Shane said.

Ilya looked at him and saw that Shane was fully awake. Ilya must have missed that, or Shane had been lying there with his eyes closed, enjoying being in bed with Ilya and their daughter.

“Morning,” Ilya said.

“I smell bacon,” Shane said.

Ilya laughed because he had noticed the smells but hadn’t thought much about it. He wasn’t even sure who was awake. Marly and Sveta had both stayed over to save having to come back here when Yuna got there.

“When is your mom getting here?” Ilya asked.

“I have no idea. I am not even sure of the time right now.”

“Me either. I don’t remember what time I set the alarm for last night.”

Shane laughed, and he closed his eyes again, but his smile was radiant. Ilya soaked up being in bed like this. Yesterday morning he woke up excited for Shane coming over and Ilya trying to figure out what they could be to each other. Then it had dipped down to horrible when he had thought that Shane was leaving, and then they had a baby. It was too much and not enough at the same time. It was like he was dreaming. He knew that he wasn’t, but it felt like it.

“I’m afraid,” Shane said.

“Me, too.” Ilya reached out and brushed his fingers down the side of Shane’s cheek. Shane opened his eyes and looked at him. “It was too easy.”

“I think that it wasn’t easy; we just both know how to focus on what is needed. What we need is to be good parents to make sure that we are protecting her and that we are good people. I’m worried about what will happen if we are figured out before we have it all in place. We can’t even leave with her right now. If I’m seen in Boston with a baby, there will be so much shit that will come down. And the same with you.”

“I would be attached to all of the women I’ve been with over the last year. You would be the mystery one because you have never been attached to a woman in the headlines.”

Shane nodded. He groaned and then he stretched on the bed. Nika made the cooing noise again. She would need changing soon; there was no smell yet, so she hadn’t dirtied the diaper yet, but that would come. Ilya was better at it now; David had helped him get better. Shane was a good teacher, but he knew only what little he had learned from Pike’s kids. David had been there raising a kid in the trenches. Ilya had heard a few stories about things that Shane had done as well, right down to never lasting long in a wet diaper at all. They never had a chance of him getting a diaper rash because as soon as there was any wetness on his skin, he screamed his head off.

“I’m scared about Russia,” Shane said.

“Me too.” Ilya let his hand rest on Shane’s arm; it dropped over Nika, and she reached up to touch it. There was no push for it. He knew that she was just trying to figure out her world. But still, he loved that she reached for him.

“Do you think that your family will push for having you sent back, even after this is made public?”

“No, my brother will not want anything to do with me. He will use her to get more money, but I have already started to work with my lawyer. It was part of what I was emailing about yesterday.”

“I would do anything to keep her out of their hands, Ilya. It would kill me to keep her from you, but I can’t…”

“No, no.” Ilya moved carefully not to hit Nika as he climbed over her to get to Shane. He looked down at Shane as he stayed over top of him. He caught his hands and pressed them beside his head and waited for Shane to focus. It took a few seconds for Shane to fully focus on him. “I know it would kill you, and I never want to put you in a place where you needed to do that. I would cut myself off from you both before I allowed anyone in Russia to hurt her. We are working on it. We are going to make sure that she is safe before this comes out. I love you, and I love her, and I would do anything for you both.”

Shane nodded, and he wet his lips before relaxing fully into the bed. He groaned, and Ilya wasn’t shocked that he felt Shane’s erection. They had been too close with not enough sex, and their bodies were reacting to being on each other like they were. Ilya took advantage of it and rocked back a little, a little more pressure on Shane’s body, and then he gave Shane a wicked grin.

“Why don’t we let your parents have some time with her, and then we will have a little alone time?”

Shane nodded.

“I’ll take her to whoever is awake.” Ilya let go of Shane; he got up off the bed before walking around it, Shane’s eyes on him the whole time. He scooped up Nika and grabbed the bag they had brought into the room with them and headed toward the kitchen. He found Yuna at the laptop along with David sitting beside her. Svetlana had stayed over and slept in a guest room, while Marly had stayed on the couch since the guest rooms were all taken up

Getting them to the same team was something good, and Shane had already made the choice that he was leaving Montreal. There was just something not good about the place, and he knew it. Ilya had never spent enough time around any of the guys to know what was being talked about there, but he wanted to make sure that it was something that Shane wouldn’t regret.

“Good morning,” Ilya said. He carried Nika to the bouncer; that had been something that they had ordered to have dropped off while Svetlana worked on the items that would need to be shopped for this morning while she pulled Marly along with her. That was what he had decided without input from Shane and Ilya. Which was just fine. Ilya didn’t mind it because he trusted Sveta.

“Morning. Marly slipped into Svetlana’s bed in the night. He wasn’t sleeping well at all on the couch,” David said.

“They are friendly enough. She’ll kill him if he tries anything, so I’m not worried about that. Nika’s awake and doesn’t seem to be hungry or anything like that yet. We are going to shower and get ourselves ready.”

Yuna was the one who nodded, while David was the one paying attention to Ilya. Ilya knew that she was arriving early; he just hadn’t expected it to be this early. She must have taken a quicker route. Then Ilya looked at the clock to see that it was later than what Ilya thought it was supposed to be. She had gotten in on time. They were just late, probably from getting up during the night to take care of Nika. They were going to have to figure out something and set real alarms. Still, he couldn’t fault what he felt.

“Breakfast is going to stay warm in the oven,” David said.

“We are used to eating cold things because of one reason or another. Don’t wait for us to eat.”

David laughed, and then he focused on his phone before he poked Yuna in the side, and she looked at Ilya once before looking at David’s phone. Ilya slipped out of the room, wondering why she hadn’t introduced herself to him. He just figured that maybe Yuna wanted Shane to do that and was acting like he wasn’t there for a reason. Or she hated him. Which was possible. She was very much one of the ones who allowed the hype and the persona that he put on while playing to be all that she knew of him. He was going to make sure that she had no reason to question that he loved Shane. And he did. He fucking loved him so much. He hadn’t realized how much he loved him until Shane was freaking out and trying to leave. He was going to make sure that whoever gave them the baby knew that he was so thankful.

All he had seen was Shane leaving him. He hadn’t realized it was love until his heart was breaking, and even then Nika had taken it all over. There was nothing else that he wanted to deal with at the moment but Nika. Shane and their lives could take a backseat. Right now, they needed to make sure that they did fuck her up; the rest could be slotted in as there was time.

Shane was still in the bed; the pillows’ form, where they had made sure that Nika was safe, was pushed where there was no reason to move them again. He was naked, not something that Ilya would have thought he would come back and find. He locked the bedroom door and was glad that he had made sure that the walls of his bedroom were a little soundproofed. Not enough to where if something was wrong, it wouldn’t be heard, but enough that sex might not carry as much.

“You want something?” Ilya asked. He walked to the end of the bed and started to strip himself. He looked at the way that Shane was on the bed and then the little smile on his lips as he drew his legs up and spread them, showing off his cock that was just hard enough to stand up. He stroked it, making a show that was so close to how it was at Vegas; only he was more sure of himself this time. Ilya groaned as he watched Shane stroking himself.

“I do. I want your cock inside of me,” Shane said.

“Hmm, you do look pretty enough for me to want to fuck. You can make me happy by getting on your knees and getting yourself ready for me.”

Shane nodded. He looked at Ilya’s cock and then at himself. “No barrier.”

“Shane,” Ilya said.

“No, I’ve not been with anyone since my last tests, and you are always so careful. I want to feel you. I want to feel you coming inside of me.”

Ilya thought back to the last time that he had sex with someone who wasn’t Shane that wasn’t just a hand job and him getting his fingers inside of her. It was what he did in clubs more often than not because it was easy to clean up, especially when the woman swallowed. Which was a lot of the time lately. He wasn’t sure why it was bigger now. Though the last one who had gotten their mouth on his cock had wanted him to come all over her face, so he had done that.

“I am sure that I can clean, but I’m going to my doctor’s today and getting the stuff done for it.”

Shane nodded, and he rolled over, going for the lube despite the day before being the first time he had been there. The lube had been out when they had first headed back, and Ilya had only put it up when getting ready for bed. He got the lube, and then he got on his front, getting his legs under himself to put his ass on display. Ilya watched as Shane worked from three fingers right off the bat in his ass, and it was fucking good. He groaned as he watched the way those fingers disappeared in the hole that he loved to be inside of. He had never been inside of someone without a condom unless it was their mouth. He wasn’t going to last long at all with this, so he would have to make sure that Shane was close before he ever entered him. He could do that. He stripped as he watched Shane fucking his fingers into his hole. Then as soon as he got one knee on the bed, Shane pulled them free, and he grabbed something to clean up his hand with, but he stayed like that, his ass up in the air. A perfect position for Ilya to just slip inside of him. He grabbed the lube where it had slid to rest at Shane’s knee. He slicked up two fingers because while three was nice, he wanted to have the dexterity to do what he wanted to do.

“No, cock,” Shane said when Ilya traced his fingers around Shane’s hole.

“You’ll get cock soon. I want to make sure that you are nice and slick for me.” Ilya pushed in with two fingers, and he went right for Shane’s prostate, rubbing over it and then just setting that up while he pressed his free hand to his back to keep him down like that. He knew that he was going to have to make sure that he got used to being naked inside of Shane’s hole. It was going to be the only way he did things unless they didn’t want to clean up. Watching himself drip form Shane’s hole was going to be a big thing. It was something he dreamed of a few times, just having Shane in his bed and coming inside of him to pull out and watch as he dripped from him.

When Ilya knew that Shane was close, he pulled his fingers free. He checked that Shane’s hands were gripping the pillow like he had been doing since Ilya had gotten his fingers inside for him, and then he used his hand to hold his cock up to rub around his hole.

“Ilya, if you don’t get inside of me and fuck me, I’m going to get up and lock myself in the bathroom to get off while you listen on the other side of the door.”

Ilya pushed, going from Shane being empty to being full of his cock in one slick motion. Shane turned his head into the pillow, and he moaned; it was the best moan that Ilya had ever heard from him. He loved it, and he wanted to keep on hearing it. Even muffled like that.

“Yeah, like that, Shane. Take me all the way; taste me in the back of your throat.” Ilya wasn’t gentle as he started to fuck him; the sound of skin slapping had Ilya getting himself off faster than he wanted, but Shane came without a touch to his cock just a few seconds before Ilya came. It was hard and fast and something that Ilya knew that Shane would need some cuddling after. When he could move, he pulled them to where Shane wasn’t in the wet spot, and he held him. This was what Ilya wanted to do after they had seen that time in Vegas, so he had grabbed the cigarette because it would mean that Shane wouldn’t touch him. Then he had poured them both vodka, and Shane had sipped it. He knew that the night had been the bigger change in their relationship. They had both wanted more that night, and they both didn’t get it. It was when Ilya started to accept that he wanted Shane more than anyone else in his life. It was when sex with other people started to become something he did because he was supposed to and not because he truly got much out of it. He gave his partners a good ride and made sure that they were happy with what he did, but he felt little from it beyond a good orgasm that he got with his right and sometimes his left hand.

They were going to have to figure things out while having a kid, and that was the fucked-up thing. He knew that it happened to hockey players more than anyone else, but this was different because they were not out there. There were ways to protect them, but as soon as Nika was seen, there would be too much looking into them. They might make it through the rest of the season, but probably not. They had to plan for the worst of it all.

“I’m scared,” Shane said.

“We will make sure that we are both safe and that Nika is safe. We will work on it and we will make it through.”

Shane hummed, and then he rolled over to put his face into Ilya’s neck. They needed to get in the shower, where Ilya was pretty sure he was going to fuck Shane again, get him bent over, and watch his cock slip in and out of his hole. They were going to have to deal with the skin hunger that they both seemed to have right now. Then they had a game to play.

They had time though. They had more than enough time.

—

The game had been horrible in a different way than Ilya ever felt before. He wanted to be back home with Nika and Shane, but Shane was with him at the game, feeling the same. Ilya knew that because of how Shane had tried to get the game locked down as fast as possible.

Ilya played his heart out, but Shane and his team had the better advantage. The hat trick had been quick and fucking easy for Shane, it seemed, because Ilya could see the holes their defense left that Shane noticed. He tried to get them to not fuck up, but Shane broke a record that night for the fastest hat trick by a single player, with ten minutes between the first and third goals.

There would be a treat for Shane for that when they got home.

Sveta had driven him and Shane to the game, and she would be waiting for Shane to leave when it was time for him to do so. Ilya was left to drive with Marly. They wanted to make sure that they didn’t get seen. Management wasn’t happy with Ilya and the child in his life, and he didn’t really care. He just said that he and his newly cemented partner had gotten the gift the day before, and since things were easy to do right now, Ilya played, and then he would be taking the mandated days off for the birth of the child to get settled into his new life.

David and Yuna had stayed in Ilya’s house, and he would have a meal ready for them when they got back, something that was close to Shane’s diet but had a few extra things for the rest of them. Ilya knew that the diet wasn’t horrible for Shane, though restrictive, but he had seen him drinking enough ginger ale that he knew that Shane allowed himself treats, but he was careful with them. Ilya knew that his diet pissed off Shane, but he had eaten the tuna melt with ease. Ilya had figured it was close enough to his diet. He had seen what kinds of things Shane ate when he got drinks from Shane’s fridge when he was at his place after games in Montreal.

“Fuck,” Marly said.

Ilya looked at where Marly was looking, seeing nothing on the road that would warrant the word, but then he noticed that Marly was looking at his phone, which was in a holder that allowed Marly to see notifications while driving.

“Get on ESPN right now,” Marly said.

Ilya moved to get his phone from his pocket. He hadn’t wanted to call Shane to talk to him since it was just going to be a short time before he was with him again. He opened his tab where he had been reading about something else and went to the ESPN main page. He found it.

Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov and the wish baby that has them missing the next few games.

Ilya was going to murder whoever did this. It had to be from the teams. Shane had told his team everything after the game as well, not who he had wish baby with, but someone had overheard it or the two teams had talked, and this was how they were going to make sure that things were fucked up for them.

“Put lead on it,” Ilya said. He opened his calling app, and he dialed Shane’s number. When there was no answer, he did the same for Sveta.

“We are driving, Ilya,” Sveta said.

Ilya could tell they were on speaker.

“Is Shane driving?”

“Yes, I wanted to see him driving my car. What do you need? Do you need to talk to your man? Or are you afraid that I’m going to tell him stories from when you were younger?”

Ilya wasn’t sure what to say because Shane was driving. There was a sound that was Shane saying something, and Ilya knew that Shane knew.

“Shane, what is going on?”

“I want to know who the fuck talked,” Shane said.

Ilya closed his eyes, and he looked at Marly before looking away again. Marly was good to drive, and they could easily head to where Shane and Sveta were. They were close because they had left not long after Ilya and Marly had.

“What are you talking about?”

“ESPN just broke the fact that we have a wish baby,” Shane said.

“You have alerts for your name?” Ilya asked.

“You don’t?”

“Not before this, but we will set that up. We are going to figure this out,” Ilya said.

Their plans were all destroyed. They had not gotten far, just working on the main plan and then going to work on the other plans. The ones that came after to make sure that they had all of the bases covered.

“I’m not going to be good to drive, Sveta; let’s swap.” There was the sound of the doors shutting, and then Shane made a noise. “Mom is calling. I’ll call you back when I get off the phone with her.”

“Go,” Ilya hung up, and looked at Marly. “Get me home as fast as you can. I don’t want them to deal with any reporters if they get there.”

Marly nodded.

Ilya knew that they hadn’t expected this, so they stayed silent for long, but he had expected it to last longer than their first game after. They hadn’t even filed any of the paperwork.

—

Shane hung up as he looked at the house that was looming. He sighed and thought about what they had to do now. Instead of having time to do everything they needed, they would have to deal with the reporters and paparazzi that were going to follow them. Boston was a little better at that than it would be in Montreal because Boston just didn’t have the hockey forward push that Montreal did. Still, Shane had no idea what they were going to do. Sveta had been able to get things for Nika when she had gone out that morning after breakfast, but that would end now because she was attached to Ilya just enough that if she were out, they were going to follow her. Harass her.

The messages had been flooding in from his team, and he had ignored them because he wasn’t ready to handle that. There was a group chat, but most of it was in private threads. He was okay with it. They were upset, and they should be. He knew that it didn’t affect the game at all, as shown by Shane breaking a record as the fastest hat trick by a single player in a game. He had thrashed Boston tonight pretty much single-handedly. Ilya had played wonderfully, but everyone else was off for some reason, which just happened sometimes. A few mistakes, and then things just fell apart. Ilya at least scored twice so that Boston was at least not shut out.

“Are you ready to beard the lion?” Sveta asked as she put the car into park.

“Yeah, something like that. Fuck, I meant to message Hayden to have him take my stuff back with him on the lift, but now I’m not sure that he’s going to do that. I’ll have to message one of the equipment guys.”

“Or, you can have someone else do it. Your mom could go and do it. You have your room key, right?”

“Yeah, I do have the room key, and we aren’t out of the rooms until later. The flight is in a few hours, so they did the second night even if none of us were sleeping there tonight. I can send Mom to do it. The guys are scared of her. Let’s go in, and I’ll have her bring it back here instead of it flying out. I have no idea what’s going to happen now.”

“Well, there is a lot going on, and it’s going to be hard for the MLH to do anything to you. You and Ilya have good records on each other. You both play your best games against each other outside of times when you both have had other things happening in your lives.”

Shane nodded. He reached back to grab his bag, and he wondered if things were going to be different now. Was the team going to hate him?

There was no chance to get through this without admitting that they were gay to the world. He would do it because there was no going back at the moment, and things were going to be hard enough if he didn’t get in front of these things. His mother and Farah would have a good grasp of how to handle this now that things were out there. He hadn’t even read the article yet; he was going to let his mother do that because he didn’t want to deal with what was being said at the moment.

His father opened the door to the house, and he had a smile on his face and Nika in his arms. Shane handed off his bag to Sveta, and then he was taking his daughter into his arms. There was a lot of Russian going on in the living room area, and Shane could hear that Ilya was upset. He went right for him, and as soon as Ilya saw him, the smile that broke on his face was enough for Shane to know that this was going to be worth it in the end.

“Oh, that’s Ilya’s agent, and things are not going well. Maybe call yours and see if she’ll take on Ilya right now,” Sveta said. Vegas;

“He said he didn’t mind moving to her before, but yeah, I’ll get Farah on the line.”

Shane was getting his app up to call Farah when another call popped up. He frowned as he saw who it was. He didn’t know what the fuck Scott Hunter wanted, but part of him respected the man; he didn’t feel like ignoring him was a good thing to do at the moment. He answered it.

“Mister Hunter,” Shane said.

“I think that Scott’s just fine. Is what ESPN reported true?”

“I’ve only seen the headline, and that part is correct. I didn’t read much else of it. It hit while I was traveling to Ilya’s place.”

“Ilya’s place. Okay, so that answers that question of mine. Look, I want to talk but only if you want to. I’d rather see your face and maybe Rozanov’s as well.”

“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll call you back.” Shane wasn’t sure what Hunter wanted, but he would listen to him. He had respect for the man, and outside of a few ill-timed chirps that Shane knew was because Scott’s season was going like shit, Shane knew that he was a good man.

“What did Hunter want?” Ilya asked.

Shane realized that he was off the phone. “Your agent?”

“He dropped me, and he said that I’m not welcome back in Russia ever again. I’m sure that my family will be calling me, but I already put them on do not disturb. They will call and scream at me over voicemail. I will save them and make sure that they are used to protect me. Hunter?”

“He wants to talk to us both over a video call. I thought that we could talk to him after we call Farah.”

Ilya nodded. He looked good, not too worried, which was good. They were safe right now.

“Let’s handle Farah, and if my GM calls, then we will deal with Hunter and what he wants.”

Shane nodded, and he sighed. He moved over to drop onto the couch, and he held out his phone to Ilya. Ilya found Farah’s contact and dialed before swapping to where they could both call.”

“I was expecting the call. I’m already digging into if it came from Montreal. I will make sure that whoever leaked it is found.”

“Ilya’s agent dropped him,” Shane said.

“Am I on speaker?”

“Yes,” Ilya said.

“Good. I’ll fax over the contract that I have with Shane; you can look over it and make changes. Yuna is there, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I’ll start to work on Boston as well. I have two other players on the team, and the management is used to me. I’ll make sure that this doesn’t hurt your careers.”

Shane relaxed, and he leaned into Ilya. “We will work on a joint statement with Mom and Sveta, and then we will send it over, and you can do what you need with it.”

“Sounds good. Text me. I’ll be making my paycheck today.”

Shane snorted because everyone attached to them was going to be making their paycheck.

As soon as Ilya hung up, he video called Hunter.

“Fuck,” Hunter said when the video came up and his eyes were focused on the two of them in frame. “I knew what to expect, but seeing it like this is something else. I have new information that I’m sure is being kept secret on purpose. I want to give you a heads up because it’s going to fuck you over.”

“Who?” Ilya asked.

“Shane.”

“What?” Shane said. He looked at Ilya.

Ilya looked like he wanted to grab his phone and look online. He looked pissed off as well.

“My coach called me when the GM called me about whether I would be pissed if we acquired you,” Hunter said.

Shane wasn’t able to process it. “Montreal wants to trade me?”

“Yeah, they were hoping that since I’ve been doing such a shit job, they would jump at the chance. I said that I wasn’t going to go anywhere. I have a no-move clause in effect. I am not moving to Montreal because I’m gay.”

Shane felt the shock at that. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“I’m bisexual,” Ilya said.

“Gay,” Shane said. Then he realized that it could be just repeating what Hunter said. “I’m gay too.”

“Look, the team is pissed off that he is being talked about like this. They hate that it was spread. There are a few who are not happy about the gay thing, but they can play with you. I know that it’s not the best, but if Montreal is shopping you around.”

“I’d rather go to a team like New York where I know at least a few of you better.” Shane knew that being traded meant he had no control. He wasn’t old enough to have those contracts fully in place yet. The next contract he signed would have that clause.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. It would be harder with the baby, but we can figure something out.”

Shane looked at Ilya. He knew that Ilya had been kind of feeling out Boston for Shane to go because on the same team, it would be easier to be on the same team, but maybe Ilya could get something in New York as well. There were three teams there in the area, and it would be easy. I wasn’t where Shane wanted to go, but he knew that things were not going to go the best for them.

“Fuck,” Shane said.

“Look, wherever you two land, if Boston are shits as well, I’ll support you how I can. I know other captains who will as well. Just keep your heads down and make sure that you are doing what you can to protect your peace. Enjoy the time with the little one.”

“Veronika,” Shane said.

“Pretty. Send me a picture when you are up for it. Her name wasn’t leaked in the article, just that you both had gone to the teams to talk about a wish baby, and someone else put it together since it happened at the same game. Now there is a deep fucking dive online for everything about you.”

This was Shane’s worst nightmare. He had no idea what the fuck he was going to do about this. They were out or at least close enough because lying wasn’t something he was willing to do when years down the road he wanted to be out. He was going to be traded to New York or at least somewhere else if New York couldn’t meet what they wanted. Ilya and Nika were worth whatever was going to happen, though, and he would just have to take it with as much dignity as he could, leaving dignity behind when he was with Ilya and upset at whatever was going on.

Ilya was in more danger than he was.