Upping the Ante – Chapter Six – emersli1

Reading Time:
14 Minutes

As Howard’s consciousness gradually faded back in he became aware of two things.

Number one:   he was tied up …  thoroughly

Number two:   he was seated in a hard-backed kitchen chair, and across from him sat the Cause of It All, calmly and efficiently stripping the gun Han had brought with him down into component parts.

Han growled in frustration as he twisted and turned in his bonds trying to get free.

“Let me go, Buck!  Diaz!  I’ll have your damn jobs for this you sorry motherfuckers!  Who the Hell do you think you are?”

Eddie Diaz leaned down until his face was level with Han’s.  “I’m the man who could have legally shot you dead the moment you climbed through my son’s window.  Castle Doctrine is well established in California.”

Buck looked over at the two of them, with the most expressionless face Han had ever seen on him.  “And I’m the man you came here to kill.”

“No!  No, I didn’t.  And you can’t prove that I did!  I wasn’t gonna kill you Buck!  For God’s sake, you overdramatic fourteen-year-old.  Untie me and face me like a man, you sorry son of a bitch!”

Han resumed thrashing in his bonds with renewed vigor, muttering insults and imprecations all the while.

Buck put the pieces of the gun on the table and looked at the man tied up in the chair.  “You brought a gun, Howard.  What exactly did you plan to do with that, hmmm?”

Han stopped struggling for a moment.  “I,…I…don’t know?  I wasn’t… thinking, I wouldn’t…I mean…”

Howard Han looked up into the face of a man he’d worked beside for three years.  “Buck… Evan…you have to know I wouldn’t have …”  He looked past Buck to the disassembled gun on the table.

“Oh my God, what’s wrong with me?”  It was a horrified whisper.  Han looked at the two men in the room with him.

“I was angry.  I’ll have a criminal record now, and the LAFD will fire me as soon as the paperwork hits admin.  I made Maddie so angry with me she wouldn’t even come to post my bail.  I … I HIT her!  Oh my God, I hit her!”  He began to weep, hanging limp in his bonds.

“What’s wrong with me?”

Buck and Eddie looked across the room at each other.

Slowly, Eddie approached the chair with its weeping occupant…careful to stay out of range.

“How long have you been having these violent swings of emotion, Han?”

“I don’t … I don’t know what you mean.  Eddie, you have to know I wouldn’t really hurt Buck … or Maddie.  I hurt Maddie!  Why?  How could I hurt her?  She should have supported me!  If Buck had just kept his mouth shut…  Why do you have to ruin everything for me?  Women throw themselves at you, children love you, BOBBY loves you… everywhere I turn you’re always there.  Why won’t you just leave me alone?  Maddie and I could be happy if you’d just go away!  Did I really hit her?  Why would I do that?”

Eddie backed away and nudged his shoulder into Buck’s.  “When we call the police, we need to ask for a bus.  I’m not sure what’s going on, but with the wild swings… I think he needs a CAT scan.  Something’s wrong.”

Buck nodded, feeling a little shell-shocked.  First that the man he had thought of as a friend would seek him out with a gun.  And second that something had been happening under the surface for a long time, and no one had noticed.  Not Hen.  Not Bobby.  Not Buck himself.

Reaching for the phone, Buck grimly closed the door on his own emotions.

He hadn’t been able to do it for the SEALs.

But he could do it now.

He made the call.

Christopher Diaz was doing the very best job he could.

All the adults in the house were grim and quiet this morning.  Even Cousin Luis was somber.

Aunt Maddie had barely picked at her breakfast, and she had gone back to lie down as soon as everyone else had finished.

Chris had grabbed his favorite book off the shelf Tia Pepa kept for the younger kids, and tapped on her door with a crutch.  Hearing a soft call to ‘come in’, Chris moved into the room and climbed up on the bed.

“I could read to you, if you wanted me to Aunt Maddie.  I’m a good reader.”  Chris had given her his very best, most sunshiney smile.  “It’s a really interesting book.  It’s all about marine mammals.”

A small giggle came from the sad-looking woman on the bed.  Maddie looked surprised to hear her own laughter.  “I would love that Christopher.  My head doesn’t really feel up to Abuela’s telenovelas right now.  Marine mammals would be perfect.”

Chris nodded sagely.  “Oh, I know.  You have to be really energetic to watch telenovelas with Abuelita.  Daddy says Abuelita watches telenovelas like they’re s’posed to be a full body experience.  It’s kind of a lot, but you do get your exercise.”

Maddie smiled at him.  “I completely believe it.  Last night she was telling me the plot of her favorite show.  I got so lost … so she started acting it out.  It didn’t really help, but she seemed to enjoy it anyway.”

Chris smiled back and opened his book.  “OK, we’re gonna start with the manatee…”

By the time Eddie and Buck made it to the house, Chris was sitting tucked up under Maddie’s arm reading her a chapter from a Magic Treehouse book.  Maddie’s eyes were closed, but a small smile played over her face, which looked more at peace than Buck had seen it in a while.

Chris looked up as Buck peeked through the door, but his voice never wavered.

Buck gave the boy a relieved smile of his own, and an exuberant thumb’s up.

Chris smiled proudly back, and made a small shooing gesture with his free hand.

Buck nodded obediently, and softly shut the door.

Moving back down the hall towards the kitchen, Buck caught the gist of the conversation as Eddie was bringing his family up to date.

“The police took him under guard to Cedars-Sinaii for evaluation.  All his records are there.  To me, he was displaying multiple symptoms of traumatic brain injury.  Bearing in mind his medical history …”  Eddie stopped talking and held out an arm for Buck as he came back into the room.

“You think this is all related to the rebar incident?”  Buck inquired with concern.

Eddie shook his head.  “Howard Han is a petty little bully with a harsh sense of humor and anger management issues.  But he’s not a killer.  Or a man who would physically abuse a woman.  Verbally, maybe.  But not physically.  Maddie said he seemed as surprised by the slap as she was.  Maybe she was right.”

Snuggling his fiance close, Eddie continued, “But the particular incident the police brought up?  That was just Han being an envious jerk, and an irresponsible supervisor.  He can’t blame that on the head injury.”

Buck snuggled closer into Eddie’s embrace, wishing he could disappear into it altogether for a little while.  “I turned my phone back on and it blew up immediately.  Hen’s really mad at me.”

Eddie had to take a moment and breathe, but Abuela stepped right into the gap.

“Nieto, you and your sister have done nothing to deserve anyone’s anger.”  She ran her small hand up and down Buck’s back comfortingly.  “You will not respond to anyone who comes at you in that way.”

“Certainly not.”  Pepa’s quick agreement soothed Buck’s uncertainty.  “Regardless of the reason, this man was not a friend to you.  And he is a danger to you and Maddie.  Those are the facts.  You did not cause them, and you do not deserve to be punished for them.”

“Now, you have group in a little over an hour, right?”  Eddie asked quietly.

“Yeah, but I’d thought I should maybe cancel… under the circumstances.”  Buck peeked at his fiance.  He didn’t really want to cancel, but he didn’t want to leave Eddie holding the bag as it were.

“Absolutely not!  You go ahead and go.  We’ll hold down the fort here.  And Buck?  Querido, turn your phone to silent.  You don’t need their bullshit.”  Eddie gave Buck a firm look.

Buck nodded.  “I’ll be back in a couple of hours then.  If you need me…”

“I’ll call the Center.  Don’t worry about us.  Chris has Maddie calm and resting, and we’ll keep in touch with the police.  Tell everyone I said ‘hi’.”  Eddie made a shooing gesture so similar to the one Chris had given that Buck had to laugh as he headed out the door.

As Buck was leaving, he heard the conversation in the kitchen pick back up.

“She will have to make a decision soon.  Hopefully the police will tell us something…”

Buck walked into the room and sat down next to Noah, smiling at the rest of the guys.

Jake got started as soon as everyone had coffee or water.  “Evan, it’s great to see  you in person again.  How’s the new job going?”

Buck smiled.  “Oh, it’s going great!  I really like the variety of the work.  I haven’t been out in the community yet, but during the next week they’re planning to take Marsh and I to a few camps.”

Noah laughed.  “Better you than me, bud.  I like kids one at a time, but I tried substituting before I took my LCSW certification exam.  It was a nightmare.  I finally fell back on my old drill instructor’s persona … and that’s not really appropriate for a classroom of eleven-year-olds.  But I can see you enjoying that kind of thing.”

Across the table Arthur smiled a little sadly.  “Sometimes a drill instructor persona is exactly what you need to deal with a herd of kids.  I remember sometimes Molly would…”  The man trailed off and cleared his throat.  “Well, I just remember sometimes it was necessary.”

Jake looked at Arthur with concern.  The man had never mentioned his family before, beyond that he had at least one daughter.  “Tony’s going to be a little late today.  He had a consult on a case this morning.  But he said to go ahead and get started without him.  So, does anybody have anything they want to lead with?”

Arthur nodded.  “One of my sons tracked me down.  He’s relocated to the States permanently now.  He’s actually in the process of moving his family to the LA area.”

Jake looked cautiously pleased.  The man hadn’t seemed to have any real ties in his life, so this could be very good.. Or bad, depending.  “So is he wanting you to be part of his family life?  Or was he just informing you of the fact that he’ll be local?”

A small smile crossed Arthur’s face.  “Oh he could have settled any number of places.  He specifically chose LA to be close to me.  Of all my sons, Percy is the last one I ever would have expected to reach out to me.  But then he  had some issues with the things that were going on as well.  I can’t really say much…”

“No, that’s fine.  We all understand ‘need to know’.  I’m just glad it looks as though you’re getting some family back.”  Jake was quick to reassure the man.

“Yes.  And he thinks another of my sons will be joining us, once he gets a little stronger.  George was in one of those terrorist attacks last Spring.  His twin was … killed, and George has been struggling.”  The man sighed.  “The news Percy brought wasn’t all good.  A lot of members of our community died or were injured.”

The look on the man’s face went very sad.  “And my daughter’s crush has apparently succumbed to the same drug Molly used on me.  I should have warned him.  I should have stayed, and fought.  Maybe if I had…”

Aaron spoke up at that point.  “No, you can’t think like that.  You did what you had to do to save yourself.  Does your son Percy blame you?”

Arthur shook his head.  “No.  Percy says that I did the only thing I could in the circumstances.   My wife’s family is powerful, and has friends high up in government in the area.  I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere trying to fight her for custody.”

Buck spoke up at that point.  “If your son says you did the only thing you could, listen to him.  There’s a saying my fiance likes to use with our son.  ‘You can’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.’  I’ve gotten some family back recently as well, but it’s uncovered some things that are really nasty and hurtful.  I get it.  But trust your son to have a better perspective.”

“Thank you Evan.  Maybe that’s what we need to talk about today.  Family and perspective.”  Jake looked around the circle.  “When to fight, and when it’s ok to walk away.”

“I think when we’re talking about kids, the rules have to be a little different, right?”  Noah spoke up.  “I basically set my life on fire by reporting what was done to me.  A lot of rich, prominent men in my town had pools.  And unsatisfied wives.  Only two people came down on my side of the equation.  My Ma and my old football coach both got it.  There were other young boys, cleaning pools in that town, and predators have a type.  Once I understood… I had to speak up.”

Aaron nodded.  “When you as an adult know of or suspect a crime against children… you have to speak up.  But Arthur, you have to know that coming out of your situation you were in no mental state to have any ability to fight for others.”

Jake agreed.  “You had to learn to fight for yourself first.  Your attacker wasn’t just your wife, really.  In a way it was your entire community, that thought it was acceptable for someone to do that.”

“I get it though.”  Buck spoke up.  “I told you guys that my sister had cut me loose.  Turns out she was actually on a twenty-one day inpatient program at Resnick.  She trusted her partner to inform everybody of why she’d be out of touch.  He didn’t.  He also lied to her when she asked how I was.  And yesterday the police showed up looking for him.  About failing to report the assault.  He was my supervisor … and he just thought the whole thing showed what a slut I was and spent the next two years making jokes about it.”

“Maddie was furious and horrified, and refused to post his bail…so he hit her.  She’s lying in a bedroom with a moderate concussion, sprained neck, and bruised face … ultimately because I chose to report the assault to the police.”  Buck gave voice to the dark thought that had been stalking him since that first videocall with Eddie yesterday morning.

“No.  She’s lying in that room because an adult male lost control of his temper and thought on some level that it was OK to hit someone who wouldn’t or couldn’t fight back.  Don’t relieve him of the responsibility for his own choices.”  Aaron was firm about that.

“Oh, he got the surprise of his life when she agreed to press charges against him instead of leaving it all to the police.”  Buck was so proud of his sister.  “She said that never again was she going to let a man get away with hitting her.”

Jake smiled.  “Then allow your sister her triumph.  It sounds as though she’s already a domestic violence survivor?  Then that decision took courage and real work on the mental health front for her.  Does she blame you?”

Buck shook his head quickly and every other man in the room relaxed a bit.

“No.  She told me she was sorry.  That she loved me.  And was proud of me.”  Buck remembered what Maddie had said, sitting in Pepa’s kitchen.  “She said that she’d seen firsthand in the ER what victims went through to report and that she was proud of me.”

Buck sighed.  “No, Maddie doesn’t blame me but … someone else, someone I thought of as another sister … well, she’s blaming me for the whole sorry mess.  I think?  When I turned my phone back on this morning… it blew up.  I didn’t read all the texts, but the beginning of the thread was … angry.  That I couldn’t just take responsibility for my poor personal choices and had to drag down people who hadn’t been involved.”

Richard had been quiet up until this point.  “That’s bullshit!  I got that too… she was ‘on the right side’, so I should just let it go.  Besides, she was hot … so what did it hurt?”

“You.  It hurt you, and they know it.  But it’s uncomfortable for them to have to acknowledge it.  I think because as men we’re used to thinking it can’t happen to us.  Accepting that it did happen makes them confront not just a reality they don’t want to have to deal with, but a possibility they don’t want to have to consider.”  Bruce had been quiet up to this point.  He rarely spoke, but when he did his calm reasoning often cut straight to the heart of an issue.  “I understand anger issues.  You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.  But part of being an adult is learning self-control.  Not striking out at the innocent.  Or just dismissing things that hurt others because it’s more comfortable for you.”

“Well said.  You may love chocolate cake, but when it’s forced down your throat … it’s not ‘OK’ just because it tastes good.”  Jake was quick to bring the discussion back around.  “Everyone has the right to say ‘no’.  And as we’ve talked about before, in certain situations the cake shouldn’t have even been on offer.”

Just then the door opened, and their final member slipped inside.  Tony took a seat next to Buck, and under cover of the ongoing conversation whispered, “We need to talk afterwards.”

Buck nodded worriedly, and as the session was brought to a close, he couldn’t help but wonder why the man wanted to talk with him specifically.

He guessed he’d find out soon.