Doubling Down – Chapter Twelve – Emersli1

Reading Time:
15 Minutes

Athena got to the house a little after midnight.

She must have simply dropped her paperwork on her desk and headed straight out in order to get to Eddie’s house by 12:15, an indication of how worried she must be.

Bobby had let her in as soon as she knocked lightly, reassuring her immediately.  “Eddie says Buck’s team has radioed in.  They’re hurt and trapped behind a line of wildfires, so they’re going to have to hike out, but at last report they were all alive and on their feet.”

“Then Buck will bring them home.”  The absolute conviction in Athena’s voice made Bobby feel ashamed.  And reinforced a decision he’d come to over the past three hours, sitting alone in the dark.

“Athena, what would you think if I took a transfer into the CERT bureau?”  His wife looked at him in surprise.

“I’ve been thinking.”  Bobby chuckled darkly.  “I’ve had nothing to do but think, and pray.  And even I can only pray the same prayer for so long before I begin to feel as though I’m haranguing God.  So I’ve also been praying about myself.  Because I nearly killed my son trying to keep him safe.  But more … I showed myself, through this whole eight months, an inadequate and in at least one case downright abusive, supervisor.”

Athena looked at him sharply.  ‘Is this about Buck, or Han?”

Bobby looked back with eyes that felt like they were clear for the first time since he arrived at that intersection to see Evan trapped and a suicide bomber between himself and his child.  “Buck, definitely.  Don’t mistake me, I bear some responsibility for the Han situation.  I allowed a kind of toxic levity to creep up so slowly and thoroughly into my house that a man could literally lose his mind in the midst of it and it be indistinguishable from his standard behavior.”

“But I could never have saved Chimney.  Earlier detection wouldn’t have meant anything but a longer time to grieve.  And Hen was always going to go down with him.  Those two have always been just as close as Buck and Eddie, without the … USB?  Is that what May called it?”  Bobby looked at his wife for clarification.

Athena laughed softly.  “UST Bobby.  UST.  And I agree with you about Chimney.  Hen …”  

She sighed sadly, thinking of her friend.  “I think Hen will find her way back to us, but not until after Chimney goes.  Right now she’s so caught up in his end-of-life issues she can’t see anything else.  I just hope she doesn’t surface in a few weeks to find she’s lost more than just her best friend.”

“I hope so too.  But no, my greatest failure was with Buck.  Other things may have crept up on me, but Buck … Athena … I lied.  I lied to his face.  And I lied about him, to people who had the power to completely kill his career.  All in the name of keeping him safe.  I didn’t even think about how he was paying his bills or buying groceries … and worse … I acknowledged to other people that he didn’t have anyone outside of work, but I never thought about what cutting him off from those people would mean.”

Bobby took a breath before continuing, “And far, far worse than all of that … I took someone I love and tried to change them into someone else.  That’s not love.  Or at least, not any healthy kind of love.  Evan is a first responder.  At his core, he is always going to be that person who runs toward danger to save others.  And I tried to separate him from that key aspect of his personality.”

Athena considered carefully.  “Let’s … sit with the decision for a few days.  At least until Buck’s out of danger and things calm down.  A week, say?  If you still think in a week’s time that moving into the Training and Education Bureau is what’s best … I’ll absolutely support you in that decision.”

She reached forward and wrapped her small hands around his.  “And Bobby?  Honey, you need to find someone … someone to talk to.   Not your sponsor.  And not your priest.  Someone who knows how to …”  Athena took a deep breath.  “Someone who knows how to deal with issues of long-term grief and depression.  Someone who can help you …”

“Someone who can help me let go of my family?”  Bobby sounded hesitant.

Athena squeezed his hands between hers.  “No baby.  Someone who can help you let go of the blame and the guilt.  Robbie and Brooke are a part of you.  They always will be.  And Marcy, she’ll always be your first love.  No one wants you to give that up … them up.  But it’s time to let the rest of it go.”

“The department therapist they sent me to in St. Paul told me he’d help me put Marcy and the kids to rest.  Like they were some … inconvenience.  An obstacle to my way forward.  I couldn’t …”  Bobby trailed off miserably.

“He was wrong.”  Athena moved all the way forward, wrapping her arms strongly around her man.  “He was so wrong.  They’ll always be with you, baby.  Just like Emmett will always be with me.  We’ll make sure you have someone trained to deal with grief.  I promise.”

Bobby buried his face in his wife’s neck for a moment.  “OK.  Ok, I’ll do it.  I’ll call the department and get a referral in the morning.  Or maybe the afternoon.  I can’t … I can’t really think about anything like that right this minute.  But I promise, I’ll call.  Or … or maybe … we’ll call?”

Athena smiled at him.  “Of course, Bobby.  We’ll call.”  Leaning back she looked at him intently.  “Now, tell me what you know.”

So he did.  As the quiet night closed in around them, Bobby told her everything he knew so far … which admittedly wasn’t much.

But his boy was alive.  For now, it was enough.

Bobby and Athena had both called in.

Neither one wanted to be in a position not to be able to take a phone call, and given their respective jobs there was no way to guarantee that but to stay home.  So that’s what they did.

Carla had come at the usual time to be surprised by the news that Evan was missing somewhere in North Cali and Eddie had gone to be there when he made his way back to civilization.  So now there were three worried adults and a worried kid in the house.

This did not a happy household make.  Everyone tried to stay upbeat, but as the morning wore on with no word that got harder and harder to do.

Finally at almost eleven o’clock in the morning a text came through.  Bobby’s phone chirped first, but Athena’s and Carla’s sounded off almost immediately after.  The message was the same on all three phones.

Found.

At first the three of them boggled as much at the group text as they did at the message itself.  Bobby was the first to realize it didn’t come from Eddie, but from an unknown number.

“It has to be DiNozzo.  He said he’d keep us posted.”  Bobby quickly typed a question back.

Details?

They all waited breathlessly, hovering around Bobby’s phone.  

Spotted by helo pilot.  All four on their feet.  She’s going to land and take them onboard.

Chris cheered as Athena and Carla hugged each other in excitement.  Bobby surreptitiously wiped his eyes, just in time to see a new text coming in.

Called Eddie back from the front.  Then headed to meet them at hospital.  Someone will send more info when we have it.

Bobby quickly responded.

Thank you so much.  Tell Buck his family in LA is relieved and look forward to hearing from him.

The answer was short and to the point.

Will do.

The waiting over the next few hours wasn’t any easier, but at least it was full of hopeful optimism.

Then a truck pulled into the driveway.

None of them knew the man who got out and came to the door, so Bobby opened it expecting to be met with a salesman of some sort.

“Hello, I don’t believe any of us have met.  I’m …”

The man was interrupted by a joyful warble from the couch in the living room.

“Tio Paco!  Did you hear about Papa?  They found him, and Uncle Tony was gonna take Daddy to him and Jake and Mateo and Marsh.  And they’re supposed to call when they get more information.”  Chris was thrilled to see his uncle and eager to share good news.

“Hola Sobrino.  I did hear about your Papa and Daddy, and I have news.  Your Daddy called Abuela and told her all about it.  I’ll tell you, but first … I need some help unloading the truck.”  Paco looked at Bobby.  “Think you could lend a hand?”

Bobby looked at Athena, then shrugged and responded, “Sure.  I’m Bobby, by the way.  Bobby Nash.  I’m …”

“Oh I know who you are.”  Paco gave the man a long, hard look.  “I’ve heard a lot about you.  My nephew thinks Evan will insist on giving you another chance.  That’s fine.  We’ve all needed a second chance at one time or another.  Do NOT require a third.”

Bobby gulped a bit.  “I won’t.  Or, at least I’m going to do my very best to make the changes I need to make to insure it.  None of us can promise to be perfect.”

Paco smiled.  “This is true.  But the first step is the hardest, and it sounds as though you’ve accomplished that.  Now …”

Paco lowered his gate and climbed into the truck.  “I think I should probably just hand these out to you and then jump down.”  Suiting actions to words, he hefted up a large box with a picture of a bassinet on it.  

Bobby stared for a minute, before taking the box and setting it down beside him.  The next box was already coming, and with a few minutes of dedicated work the two men unloaded the truck bed of its load of … baby things?

“Well, don’t just stand there.  Grab something and let’s go, before Christopher gets up off his sofa and comes to hunt us down for the news I promised.”  Paco grabbed the box with the bassinet on it and started up the sidewalk.

Bobby followed bemusedly with a box that, if the printing was to be trusted, contained a Pack ‘N Play.  What in the world?

When Bobby got back into the house, he discovered they were apparently stacking the items along the wall in the dining room.  Shrugging he figured it was as good a place as any and put his burden down before heading out for more.

Carla and Athena took turns helping with the other things, giving each other wide eyed looks as they did so.  And soon everything had been moved into the house and was tidily stacked out of the way.

“Now,” Paco turned to the little boy vibrating on the sofa.  “I’m to tell you first that your papa is fine.  He breathed in some smoke, so he’s doing a treatment for that.  And they had to put some stitches in his left arm.  But he is fine.  And something very exciting has happened.”

“What’s happened, Tio Paco?  And what’s with all the stuff you put in the dining room?  If it’s kitchen stuff you’d better move it before Daddy gets home.  Papa’s the one who cooks.”  Chris was relieved to hear Papa was ok, but “What about the other guys?  Jake and Mateo and Marsh?  Are they OK?”

Paco nodded firmly.  “They are.  Or at least, they will be.  Marsh has been hurt and will have to heal and Mateo had to push his body too far on the hike out so he is very, very sore.  But they will be fine.  Jake’s fingers are numb, but they expect full feeling to return soon, so he will be alright as well.”

“OK, so tell us what’s so exciting?  And what’s actually in all the boxes?”  Carla was practically bouncing in place.

Paco smiled.  “Well, first I should say that I work as a social services coordinator for a government office.  Have any of you heard of inexplicable babies?”

Athena and Carla both nodded while Bobby and Chris just looked confused.

“How inexplicable can a baby be?  I mean, everyone knows how they get here.  Or …”  Bobby looked at Chris rather doubtfully.

Chris gave Bobby a distinctly unimpressed look.  “I know where babies come from.  I don’t know how they get inside the Mom, ‘cause Daddy said I’m not ready for that conversation and neither is he.  But I know that a Mommy and Daddy make them together, or sometimes they get made outside the mommy and put inside by doctors.  Papa and I watched a documentary.”

Paco laughed.  “Well, over the past hundred years or so we’ve been finding babies and  young children.  The oldest have been eleven, but most of them are under the age of five.  And the very most common of those are infants less than a year old.”

Athena nodded again.  “I’ve heard talk of this.  They always have paperwork proving they belong to someone who couldn’t possibly have actually, um… created them.  And trying to separate them from the person on the paperwork always ended badly, so they don’t even try anymore.  They just register the baby and move on.”

“Yes.  We have seen it all over the world, in every country but the very smallest.”  Paco continued.  “We call the phenomenon ‘Inexplicable Babies’.  It’s kept very hush-hush, to protect everyone from the potential criminals who might use it as a cover story for kidnapping, but law enforcement” he gestured to Athena “are informed.  At least at the command levels.”

“I was told about it in my promotion materials for field sergeant.  We keep it quiet, and blend it in with the surrendered babies where we can.”  Athena looked towards the dining room.

Carla chimed in quickly, “I learned about them when I was working in the hospital.  But only when I became a charge nurse, and we kept it very quiet too.”

“Did Papa and Daddy get a baby?!?!  One of these babies?  Are they going to live here?  Will they be my brother?  Or sister?  Is it a boy, or a girl?  I told Denny I was gonna get a little brother or sister before he did!”  Chris let out a long stream of excited questions, obviously trying very hard not to bounce.  His legs weren’t up to bouncing yet.

“Yes Christopher.  You are now a big brother.  Evan found a baby in the remains of a burned out house.  I don’t know the details, but she had paperwork with her that had both his name and your daddy’s name.”  Paco grinned at the excited little boy.  “And I don’t know what they’re going to decide about who’s living where, but Eddie called Mama and Mama rallied the troops.  Every cousin in LA who had anything from their babies has donated it to Eddie and Evan.  I’ve been driving all over town today, picking things up.”

Bobby and Athena exchanged a look.

“I’ll put the word out to the fire department that Buck has a new baby.  There’ll be a lot of people who’ll want to send something.  I know for a fact he’s sent a gift every time a new announcement comes through the department.  Sometimes just a pack of cute onesies if he doesn’t know them very well, but always something.”  Bobby pulled out his phone and got to work.

“I don’t see a crib in all this, so Bobby and I will get that for her.  And I might still have a few things from May that Harry didn’t destroy.  I’ll have to check when I get home.”  Athena got busy  on her phone as well, checking safety ratings on Amazon with the intent determination of a bloodhound.

Carla grinned at Chris.  “Big brother status already!  Way to go!  Do you want to pick out some things for your sister?  We can look together on my tablet?”

Chris eagerly agreed and the two of them settled into a friendly debate on what sort of animal a California girl might need as a bedtime buddy.  He suddenly had a thought though.  “Hey, has anybody told Aunt Maddie?  She’ll want to know.”  The little boy suddenly looked grave.  “Or do you think it might hurt her feelings that Daddy and Papa got a baby and she didn’t?”

Paco looked at the worried little boy.  “Your abuelita has already called the hospital and told your aunt’s nurse.  They’ll let her know what’s happened.  And Maddie knows that when she’s ready to be a mother, it will happen.  But she has to learn to love herself first, right?”

“Right!”  Chris went back to happily browsing for stuffies.  Maybe there was a penguin in here somewhere.

Buck and Eddie were sitting in the small alcove off the main nursery.

With the two of them and the isolette the little space was cramped, but neither man noticed.  They were both completely taken up with watching their daughter.  Evan held her as though she were the most precious of gems.  The most delicate of flowers.

Out of nowhere, the baby girl emitted a loud belch that seemed too big for her little body.

It was quickly followed up by sounds further south, indicating that her last bottle had worked its way through to its inevitable end.

OK, so maybe not so delicate.

Buck and Eddie looked at each other and laughed quietly.

“Takes after her papa.”  Eddie’s eyes twinkled merrily as he teased his partner while taking the little girl and moving her back to her isolette so he could change her.

Evan let out an indignant little squawk, then seemed to consider the matter.  “Well, I suppose better out than in.”

Once the baby was clean and dry once more Eddie picked her up, planning to settle her back in Buck’s arms.  But something in him just couldn’t do it.

“You know, the hardest thing I think I ever did was leave after Chris was born.  He was so small, and so feisty.  And such a bundle of real joy.  I never really did understand that before he was born, but he was just …”  Eddie was crying as he spoke.  “He was mine, and I had to go.  In order to be his father … to provide what he needed … I had to leave him.  And it was the hardest thing …”

Evan realized this was about more than just Chris.  “We’ll figure it out, Eds.  I promise.  I don’t know how yet, but we’ll figure it out.  For right now … for right now we’re together.  And we’ll take her home and hope they’ve delivered that starter pack Tony talked about.  And we’ll figure it out.”

“Well, from what I hear your abuela has things well in hand in LA.”  The voice came from behind them and they turned to see Tony standing there.  “And I was told to tell you your LA family is looking forward to hearing from you.  But for now …”

Tony pulled out his phone.  “Everybody smile.  Except you, Mira.  You don’t have to smile yet.  But everybody else …”  He took a picture of both men with goofy grins on their faces as they marveled at their daughter.

A new groupchat had been established.  Tony called it the Buckley-Diaz Family.  And he sent the picture.

Welcome to the Family

Mireya Rose Buckley-Diaz

Out of the fire, and into the family.