I Only Need you – 2 – AngelicInsanity

Reading Time:
18 Minutes

Buck was sitting with his family on the back porch when OA arrived. “OMG, I love you,” he said, coming straight to Buck to kiss him before looking at the two babies as he sat down next to his partner. “They’re beautiful, Evan. Have you named them yet?”

Buck smiled as he pointed to the blonde baby. “Just the one, Matthew James. I want you to name the dark-haired baby. I feel like it’s only fair if we each get to name one.”

“David Joseph,” OA said immediately, and Buck smiled big, leaning over to kiss OA’s cheek.

“I thought that’s what you’d go for. We can call them Matty or MJ, and what do you think about DJ for David? I like the idea of them having nicknames like yours, at least until they get older and decide for themselves what names they want to go by. What do you think?”

“Perfect,” OA praised, kissing his cheek once more, then got a big grin on his face when Lizzie brought DJ to him to hold while Daniel brought Matty over for Buck to hold so that OA could see him better.

“They have my coloring and your curly hair. Although mine is curly too when I grow it out, I think their curls look more like yours than mine. We’ll see if they stay that way. Do you think that Matty’s eyes will stay blue?”

“Wish babies always come with their permanent eye color and hair type,” Buck advised, leaning against his mate. “They are old enough that they’ve already gone through the hair loss and regrowth by the time we get them. Right now they should be exactly three months old, but their date of birth will be on the paperwork inside the baskets, which I haven’t even looked at yet. Jubal didn’t want to come in?”

“We have time,” OA reminded as he began whispering sweet words to DJ. “I love you, my son, and I promise that I will protect you and your brother Matty, and be there for you both all of the rest of the days of your life. As to Jubal, he said that today should be for family, but that he’d stop by tomorrow to meet his new nephews.

“Do we want to choose Godparents? I mean, I know that you aren’t religious and there aren’t such things in Islam because we don’t believe in the concept of original sin, but you don’t have to be religious to have something like Godparents, I don’t think.”

Buck considered the concept as he rocked Matty slightly while Daniel warmed up the two bottles that were slipped into the baskets. Aggie and Lizzie were already putting together a list of basics like formula, diapers, wipes, etc., to be delivered from the local grocery store to give Buck and OA time to get a bigger order from Amazon.

“I had a friend in school who had Godparents, and I was always jealous of them. Although they weren’t Catholic, they weren’t religious at all, so they called them Guide Parents, which I think would suit us better. Given that neither one of us is Catholic. Bobby is so he can cover that with… I mean, you know if…”

Taking a deep breath, Buck pushed past the anger that still sat deep in his gut and soul when it came to Bobby’s lies. “Speaking of religion, though, I want you to know that if you want to teach them about being a Muslim, then I understand. I know that Islam is important to you, and while I don’t see myself practicing any religion, I am open to the boys knowing and practicing if you feel that’s important to you. I’d like them to be able to make up their own minds, though, when they come of age. I don’t… I want to honor your beliefs while not forcing either of our beliefs on them.”

“I love you so much,” OA said softly and pressed a gentle kiss to Buck’s lips. “I understand what you mean, and honestly, I practice more in private than at a mosque these days. The fact that I am gay is an issue that I can’t overcome, and most mosques won’t take me because of it. That is considered a sin. It’s part of the beliefs that I struggle with because I don’t believe that Allah hates me or doesn’t want me just because I am gay.

“I honestly don’t know what I want for the boys; I hadn’t considered it that in-depth. I would like to teach them, I think, but I do understand your point of view in not forcing them into something. There is a mosque in LA that is open to LGBTQ+, but I’ve not had a chance, or maybe it’s that I’ve not been brave enough to check it out yet.”

“That’s fair. If you ever do, you know I support you even if it’s from a distance and not actually going with you,” Buck supported gently as he took a bottle from Daniel, who had come back into the room.

“I am so proud of you two,” Lizzie said, smiling happily, and Buck startled, then blushed, having forgotten that his Aunt and Auntie were still in the room.

“Religion can be a hard topic for new parents, and just watching you begin to navigate those waters tells me you two are going to be amazing parents. If you’d like, there is a non-denominational church that I go to sometimes that I like a lot, and I would be happy to teach them about that once they are old enough.”

“I think that would be ideal,” OA said while glancing at Buck, who nodded. He then took the second bottle from Daniel and began to feed DJ, who drank hungrily.

Buck and OA were deep in buying baby stuff when Eddie came into the room and plopped into a chair. The boys were sleeping on the coffee table. Daniel had finally gone to the office, and Aggie and Lizzie had gone off to take care of their daily duties, leaving Buck and OA alone.

“Hen and Alex send their best and say that they’ll come by your place whenever you’re ready for visitors. Bobby was very quiet about the whole thing. Although it might have just been because I was the one with information because he and I had… words.”

“I didn’t want to cause trouble between you two,” Buck said worriedly, and Eddie just huffed.

“You didn’t cause anything. Bobby did. Hen made a comment about how maybe after paternity leave, you could hopefully come back, and Bobby made a comment about not rushing things. He then tried to say that the brass might still not be ready, but I wasn’t having any more of that nonsense.” Eddie commented before relaying what had happened toward the end of his shift.

Eddie bounded up the stairs, having come from the showers, getting cleaned up after their last call. He was waving his phone around and grinning big, just having finished texting with Buck.

“Guess what?” He called to the loft occupants in general, but headed toward Hen and Alex instead of Bobby, whom he was pissed off at. Eddie hated liars, and he was disappointed that Bobby had turned out to be one.  “Buck and OA got twin wish babies this morning! Who wants to see pictures?”

“You better bring those right over. Twins? I don’t think that I’ve ever heard of twin wish babies!”

Eddie showed the pictures to Hen and Alex, who was Hen’s partner having replaced the previous guy. From what Eddie had heard, Chimney Han had left after being in some kind of car accident that he hadn’t been able to come back from. “They are adorable,” Hen said as Bosko looked at the images over the back of the sofa. 

“Wish babies means paternity leave,” Alex pointed out, and Hen nodded with a sigh. 

“Hopefully, by the time that leave is over, they’ll let Buck come back. I miss his face around here. Things just don’t feel the same.”

“Let’s not rush things,” Bobby cautioned, getting the stink eye from Eddie. “Buck may not want to come back now that he has children. He has two little ones to consider, and his spouse is in a high-risk job as well. It might be better if Buck just found something safer to do. We don’t know if the Brass will be ready to let Buck return when his paternity leave is over.”

“Really, Bobby? You wanna keep trying that lie? Did you think Buck would just suffer in silence and not tell anyone what you had done?”

“I think you should remember who you are talking to, Diaz,” Bobby said at the same time that Hen asked, “What are you talking about? What has Bobby done?”

“Write me up, and that’ll be the second complaint to the union about you.” Eddie threatened before turning to Hen. “Buck had dinner with Bobby and Athena last night…”

“Eddie, that’s enough!” Bobby tried, but Eddie forged onward.

“And he revealed to Buck that it isn’t the Brass who is holding Buck back; it’s Bobby. He told them that Buck wasn’t ready to come back. Bobby has been lying to us.”

“Are you serious right now?” Alex snapped, and Bobby glared at him. 

“I think you all need to remember who is in charge around here, and if I…”

“I think you need to remember that you’ve been lying to us for a month or more, and I agree with Eddie. I hope that means that Buck is going to the union. No matter what else he has going on right now.” Alex said, cutting him off just before Eddie piped in.

“And I think that you should remember that Buck isn’t actually your son. Your guilt about him getting hurt because you and Athena investigated something that wasn’t your job doesn’t mean that you have the right to penalize Buck because you’re scared. All you are doing is pushing him away further. Keep it up, and you will lose another son, and it won’t be because he got hurt or died. It’ll be because you lied to him, you lied to us, heck, did you lie to Athena too? Because I have a hard time believing that she would support this. She loves Buck and understands how important being a firefighter is to him.”

“You say that like you think that I don’t!” Bobby snapped angrily, glaring at his team. “But I would rather have him alive and hate me than dead because I…”

Bobby stopped and looked to find Eddie, Alex, and Hen staring at him with their arms crossed. “Go on. Finish that statement,” Eddie dated, and Bobby glared at him before deflating. 

“You don’t understand,” Bobby said quietly, swallowing hard as he crossed his arms over his chest to protect himself. “I can’t lose another child.”

“Not only are you losing one right now, but you’re not going to get a chance to get to know who could be your grandchildren,” Hen said softly, always the softest heart and willing to give another chance. “You need to talk to someone, Bobby, because it isn’t right what you’re doing to Buck. Not to mention the trust that you’re damaging with us. You need help, and I don’t just mean talking to your priest. You need to talk to a therapist. What did Athena say about this?”

“She’s mad at me,’ Bobby admitted softly as he ran a hand over his hair before shifting to lean against the counter instead of standing behind it. “I told her that it was the Brass too, and I mean technically it is the brass, but they made their decision because of what I told them.”

“That rule needs changed because you aren’t one of Buck’s doctors. You know I live in The House on the side that Aunt and Auntie rent out. They asked me my opinion now and then about the injury since I was a nurse in the orthopedic ward before I came here. I told them that it had been quite some time since I did that, so going with what Buck’s doctor said was the best thing, but I made sure that they understood that until there was an official determination made, it was premature to go by what an ER doctor said.”

“What do you mean? The paperwork I got said that it was Buck’s fault because he was pushing himself too much.” Bobby said defensively, and Eddie huffed out his agitation.

“That was what that idiot in the ER room said; it wasn’t the final determination, and you should have gotten an update from Buck’s surgeon telling you that the issue was in the hardware that they put in Buck’s leg, not something Buck has done. I live with Buck, and I can tell you that he followed his doctor and his physical therapist’s orders to the letter, because I didn’t let him push himself, even if he had tried to, which he didn’t.”

“I didn’t…. I didn’t know that. Are you sure? I didn’t get any additional paperwork, only the first one that said it was his fault.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes and cursed softly. There was a nurse at the doctor’s office who didn’t like Buck because he’d turned her down for a date and wondered if she was why the correct paperwork hadn’t been sent. It was something he’d have to remember to bring up to Buck once things had settled down.

“I know that Buck has a copy of the papers. I will make sure to get a copy to bring in to you and make sure that he sends a copy off to LAFD and the union if needed. Look, Bobby, I don’t know why you didn’t get them for sure, but I know this. Buck is calling the union tomorrow to file an official complaint because what you’ve done is genuinely out of line. You had no business letting your personal feelings get in the way of things.

“I know that you want to keep him safe, but you have no right to prevent Buck from working if he’s been medically cleared. Do you know that he isn’t getting paid because, medically, he is cleared? The only reason he isn’t homeless right now is because he has a trust fund that he had to break into. I think… Well, honestly, I think Buck is right. Last night he told me that he didn’t think you and he should work together anymore, and the more we talk about this, the more I think that he is absolutely correct.”

“I would have to agree with that.” Alex started walking over to lean against the counter facing Bobby. “As your Lieutenant, I don’t agree with the decisions that you’re making, and you know that because you and I have talked about it. It has nothing to do with my friendship with Buck and everything to do with you treating him differently than you do other members of this shift, which is going to come back and bite you in the rear one of these days unless something is different.”

“I don’t want to lose him,” Bobby said quietly, and Hen sighed softly before speaking. 

“I think, Bobby, that you’re at a point where you need to decide if you want your relationship with him as his Captain or as his pseudo father more, because as much as it pains me to think about losing him, I also agree that maybe it’s past time that he leaves. If nothing else, it would be hard for him to advance in his career here. There are too many of us ahead of him for him to work his way upward, and I know that Buck has aspirations of being a captain someday. 

“If you really want what is best for Buck, then you need to let him go. Let him go to one of those SaR Bureaus that are always trying to poach him from us so that he can get some different experience and keep living his dream. Speaking for myself, I’m not mad at you, but I am disappointed that you’ve been lying to all of us over it, and it’s really going to be hard to forget that. I’m going to keep wondering how else you will favor Buck going forward if he is still here.”

Bobby looked devastated, like he hadn’t yet considered what the ripples of his decision had meant. It wasn’t just Buck that it was affecting. The other members of the team had a right to wonder what else Bobby would lie about, and it was something that he was going to have to work to overcome. Letting out a half sigh and half cry, Bobby nodded, wiping his hands over his face as he tried to get himself under control. “I’ll talk to Battalion Chief Barrows and come clean, and if Buck puts in a transfer to one of the SaR Bureaus, I won’t stop the transfer. Eddie, will it just be Buck or…”

“I’m sorry, Cap, but where Buck goes I go. As good as we are separately, I think that we are better together, and I’ve gotten offers from those same SaR Bureaus too. Buck and I talked about it some last night, and he has one that he’s considering because he knows that guy that runs the 56.”

“Captain Gaines,” Alex said, nodding with a smile. “Great guy. Runs his House differently than you do, but I think Buck can handle it. I work with him when I do overtime there, and while he is more military-like in his command style because of his background, he isn’t unfair. If either of you needs a reference, let me know.”

Eddie couldn’t get more than a thanks out before the bell sounded and they were off running to get their things and get to someone’s bad day and hopefully prevent it from being a tragic day.

‘Wow,” Buck said softly as he burped Matty gently. “That changed quickly; he sure didn’t have that open mind last night when he insisted that I wasn’t ready, but then I didn’t really try to change his mind. I was so mad that I knew I would say something that I didn’t mean if I stayed. I wonder what Athena said to him. Has she seen the pictures of the babies yet?”

“Yes,” Eddie informed, double-checking his text messages. “I texted her after we got back. Bobby asked me to, and I said I would. I don’t want Athena mad at us. So, tell me what I can do. You two just received two babies with no warning. Have you even decided where you are going to live yet?”

“I assume we’ll live at Evan’s house,” OA shrugged as he leaned forward to put DJ in his basket to sleep. The Moses baskets were imbued with the magic of the fairy angels and would keep the little ones safe while they slept. It was a perfect place for them to sleep until they could get them some cribs.

“Are you sure?” Buck asked, looking concerned. “You’ve lived in your house longer, and it’s close to your Jaddah.”

“Aggie and Lizzie have offered to let Jaddah [Grandmother] Aisha live with them when she’s ready to be out of her apartment. I think she’s getting tired of living on her own and wants to be around more people her age. I think Max even offered to help her should something come up, but Jaddah [Grandmother] is still pretty spry for her age and gets around ok. She’s only 64. Plus, her mother is 87 and still going strong. She lives back in New York with my uncle.”

“I didn’t know that. I don’t remember meeting her when we were together. Did she live with your Uncle then?”

“No,” OA said, shaking his head. “She was still back in Egypt then. My uncle sponsored her to come over here with khaly [my uncle] Mohammed after my el ged el kebir [great grandfather] was killed.

“Back to where we will live, I think your place would be better suited. Not only is it bigger, but it’s newer, and you own it. Whereas I’m just renting and only have one bedroom and one bathroom. Unless you don’t think your house will work either, then I guess we could get a place together, instead of me just moving in whenever we are ready for that. So, you two are thinking of transferring stations?”

“Lizzie and Aggie would love to have Jaddah [Grandmother] Aisha here full time. As to moving to another station, yes. I regularly receive offers to move to the 56 with Captain Gaines, and apparently he’s been sending Eddie offers, too. So, I think it would be the perfect place for us if they have two open spots.

“As to us living in my place, I am perfectly fine with it as long as you are. I just didn’t want to assume that we’d live in my place when you may have ties to yours. I also don’t know how far my house is from your work. I bought my house with a partner and kids in mind. So, it should fit all of us. Eventually, the guest room will have to go away when the twins get older, but I don’t know if we will have enough guests for it to matter. Unless you have someone you think will need the extra room, Eds? You’re a part of this too since it’s your house also.”

“Abuela likes moving between Texas and California depending on which of her children she wants to be close to. Tia Pepa has plenty of her own children. So, when the day comes that she can’t live alone anymore, then she will most likely move into a house with one of them.  As long as the bedroom on the first floor stays for Chris, that is all I care about. I don’t want him trapped upstairs or not able to get upstairs when he’s having a bad day with his CP.”

“I would never kick Chris out of his room. If something happens and we need two rooms downstairs, then we can just get a new place for the three of us that is more of a ranch style. Or we could talk to Andrew and Daniel and see if they think we could add on. You have quite a bit of backyard and side yard space that we could use if we need. How you got that much room in LA, I have no idea. It’s like we’re living back in New York.”

Buck grinned and shrugged his shoulders before replying. “The house came with that much space. It isn’t like I had much to do with it, but do remember that we are on the more affluent side of town and these houses come with more space. I wouldn’t be opposed to adding on an in-law suite or whatever they call those out here. We don’t have anyone to put in it right now, but eventually we should plan for maybe Chris needing it someday. I dunno. I’m not implying that he won’t always be as mobile as he is now, but you know I am a planner.”

“I know that you are, and I appreciate that about you. Are you still going to call the union, Buck, or did that conversation change your mind? I know I am having second thoughts, at least about doing it right now. I think I need to see if he really does what he says he would and lets us transfer to a new House.”

Buck sighed and shook his head. “It isn’t like I want to have this anger aimed toward him. I love Bobby. I mean, I have plenty of other family-type people. I have my Aunt and Auntie. I have my brother, and I have Jasper as a pseudo-uncle, but I don’t have a dad. While Jasper fills that role, sometimes Bobby is more of a dad and is here in LA. I love JC to death, and I appreciate everything that he’s done for me, but he’s in Montana, and I am here.

“No, I am going to wait on the union and hope that Bobby isn’t lying again. I am calling Ray tomorrow, though, because I need out of the 118 by the time that paternity leave is over. Now, Eds, help us pick out cribs because we can’t agree which one we like.”