Sky Ain’t The Limit – Chapter 6 – ScarsLikeVelvet

Chapter 6 – Everything Changed

Evan woke once above the Atlantic, but the moment his senses were aware enough of his surroundings, he realised he was secured to a gurney in ways that ensured he couldn’t move at all, which some small part of him acknowledged was likely for the best because he was still ready to kill anything that moved just to make that agony stop.

He was hurting so badly, and the psionic bleed-off had to be catastrophic for anyone around him. Just the thought that someone had to fly a plane while he was in so much agony from the enormous loss he suffered made him want to rip and tear into anything and everything surrounding him just to make it stop.

“EVAN!”

The sharp call of a familiar voice made him roll his head in its direction. He blinked slowly, his lips forming his battle buddy’s name.

“I’m here,” Oliver assured him.

“Kenny?” Evan mouthed.

“He’s with us,” Oliver said firmly.

“He doesn’t have family,” Evan mentioned, tears rolling down his cheeks, that his surprisingly solid honey badger Spirit Guide licked them away.

Oliver reached out and took Evan’s hand. He gave it a hard squeeze and looked him in the eyes.

“He has us, Evan. We’ll take care of him. Even in death,” he spoke. “Now, for your own and everyone else’s safety I need to sedate you again.”

Evan gave Oliver’s hand a squeeze.

“Just don’t … let go,” he whispered as the tranquilliser flooded his system and took him out again.

—————

When he surfaced again, a familiar feeling of safety surrounded him, and he wasn’t immobilised anymore. Still, he remained motionless on his back and tried to use his senses to take his surroundings in, but everything felt muted and like too much at the same time.

Everything felt wrong, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to face the reality of losing Kenneth just yet. He knew his Guide was gone, and he knew their bond hadn’t been perfect, hadn’t been meant to stay permanently, but the abrupt loss of it hurt more than Evan had ever expected.

He had known since the beginning that he and Kenny could unwind their bond without hurting each other, because they both had always kept part of themselves back despite their bond evolving from a platonic work bond into a friendship and eventually into something more, simply because Evan had told Kenneth from the beginning that they weren’t meant to be, no matter what Kenneth thought.

Given that Evan’s sixth sense was an advanced type of empathy, Kenneth had always believed him and hadn’t protested Evan’s words at all.

They hadn’t been meant to be the forever type of relationship, but the one that was perfect right now, and losing that in such an unexpected way between one breath and the next felt devastating.

“Evan, come on, son … I need you to open those pretty baby blues for me,” the familiar voice of his Papa disturbed his spiraling thoughts, causing Evan to make a soft mewing sound, while reaching out to Blair the way he had done as a child, knowing he would be safe in his father’s arms, no matter what was going on in his life.

He still fought the gentle order to open his eyes because he knew opening his eyes meant acknowledging the loss he was already feeling so keenly, and he wasn’t ready for it.

“I know it hurts, baby boy, but I need to see your eyes so I can give you a proper checkup,” Blair told him firmly and in that tone of voice that told Evan he was running out of patience fast, which meant that he had been out cold for quite some time and his parents were far more worried than they wanted to admit.

Evan allowed a slightly grumpy huff to escape before he tilted his head back a bit from where it was now resting against Blair’s shoulder and reluctantly opened his eyes. He already knew what his father would see, and it would let his worry skyrocket, but Evan couldn’t help himself.

Everything inside him wanted to follow Kenneth into the great beyond. Now that his anger—which had burned hot and heavy inside of him for a while—had fizzled away, there was nothing but hurt left.

Blair gently cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes. Psionic energy rose between them, opening a familial bond that had been diminished by distance and time apart, and he could see the anguish in his Papa’s eyes before the man shoved his shielding into place.

“Oh Evan,” he murmured and pulled his son into a tight hug, not letting go even when Evan tried to squirm out of the tight hold.

“I’m sorry, Papa,” Evan murmured.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about, Evan,” Blair told him firmly. “From what Oliver told us when he brought you here, you’ve been through hell and back a few times over the years, and you never told us about it … which is your right, I guess … you are an adult after all … though I would have loved to be informed when my child got hurt and needed help to recover … you didn’t need to do this alone back then and you don’t need to do it alone now … I promise.”

Tears welled up in Evan’s eyes, and before he could shove them down the way he had trained himself to do, they were already rolling down his cheeks. His whole body shook from the sobs that tore from his chest, and suddenly he and Blair weren’t alone anymore.

The familiar smell and weight of his battle buddy wrapped around his back, and Jim, his Dad, joined them in the cuddle pile without hesitation. The familiar smells, both old and new, cocooned Evan and helped him calm down for the moment.

When his sobs abated and his breathing slowed down, Oliver asked him softly, ” How are you feeling?”

Evan remained silent for a few long minutes while he took stock of himself both physically and mentally.

“I’m a mess,” he admitted softly.

Oliver snorted.

“I knew that the moment Kenneth dropped, Badger,” he said, shaking his head while tightening his hold on Evan. “Know that I’m sorry for your loss, Ev. I know you and Kenny planned to dissolve your bond the moment you returned stateside and had proper support from the Sentinel and Guide community, but those plans don’t make what happened any easier. You grew into something comfortable and losing that … I can’t even imagine what is going on inside your head at the moment.”

“Nothing good, I can promise you that,” Evan huffed under his breath and buried his face against his Papa’s shoulder again, knowing no one would lecture him right now. They all knew the loss was still too fresh for him to handle.

“We will work on that, Evan,” Jim told him, his voice firm but also unimaginably gentle.

Evan hummed under his breath in silent agreement. He knew his family would help him make it through this messy situation, but he also knew that it would take longer than the Navy would be comfortable with.

“Paperwork?” he blurted out, lifting his head to look at Oliver.

“We’re both on the way to an honourable discharge from service due to the traumatic loss of your Guide/a Guide on our team. They are settling a shit ton of money on us to make sure we do not sue them for the forced bonding and all the other bullshit they put us through,” Oliver answered calmly.

“I hate this,” Evan remarked.

“I do to,” Oliver agreed. “But honestly … while I enjoyed what we did, the fact that so many of the people in our leadership had absolutely no clue how to handle Sentinels and Guides properly and caused so many deaths in our ranks that it isn’t even funny makes me happy that we are allowed to leave with out lives somewhat intact. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now, Evan … but eventually, it will be okay.”

Evan shook his head.

“I don’t think I will ever be okay again,” he admitted.

“You will never be the same as before,” Jim corrected him. “But you will find a new okay eventually. Right now, everything is just too fresh for you to realise it and that’s absolutely okay. You will get there.”

Evan just nodded his understanding.

“I don’t need to do anything right now, right? Just exist?” he asked.

“For now,” Oliver agreed before either Jim or Blair could say something contrary. He would give Evan a couple of days to wrap his head around what happened and figure out how his life had changed before he would force him to face the situation in front of him with the support of his family.

Evan grimaced, knowing exactly what his friend was planning, but not finding it in himself to protest.

He felt too exhausted and allowed himself to be pulled back to sleep.

—————

“You need to get up,” Oliver told Evan a couple of days later. “Clean up and wear your uniform.”

Evan blinked slowly, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because we will be sending Kenneth of to his eternal rest today,” the slightly older male replied.

“I don’t want to go,” Evan muttered.

“I know. But you will. Kenneth deserves to have your attention one last time,” Oliver told his friend and fellow Sentinel firmly.

Evan bit his lip and nodded slowly.

“Okay,” he muttered and rolled himself out of bed to get ready for his Guide’s funeral.